Monday, May 30, 2005

I Ate Diarrhea Bacteria

Hands shaking…. strength 10% left. Cant type. Weak. Walking problem. Internal battery critically low. Been visiting the toilet at a frequency of once every two hours since yesterday morning. Didn’t sleep well coz ass needs to sit on toilet bowl frequently. Must see doctor later if I can. Work piled all up. Can't work yesterday. Legs shaky. Can't think. Lay on bed all day and night. Serious food poisoning. Fu*k up week end.

Weekend was hell. So many things happened. Friend got expelled from girlfriend’s house. Followed him around gave him emotional support and help hunted for a new apartment where he can nurse his heart back to health.

Suppliers form Singapore came. Kept them happy, brought them around. No panties!!! No panties!!!! Brought them to a-go-go bar where the pretty young things don’t wear panties!!!!! Sperm swam up to brain. Yeahhh… go again we must. They went yesterday night, I did not. Because my ass fell in love with the toilet bowl.

Pain, pain… cramps cramps… this must be how women feel once a month. Back in office.. summoning all energy be it cosmic or spiritual…. Need to work…. Work piled up… weak weak… pain pain…

Friday, May 27, 2005

Brain Wraps

Been reading a book - The Fabric of the Cosmos : Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality by Brian Greene. Will die one… twist ur brain until juice come out from your ears. See this..

String theory is a recent development in physics that, by positing that all which exists is composed of infinitesimally small vibrating loops of energy, seeks to unify Einstein's theories and those of quantum mechanics into a so-called "theory of everything.

Catch the ball or not? And also things like…

If no one is looking at the moon (including video cameras and any equipment of observations)… is the moon really there? The moon is there only when we look at it. Reality is a something yet unexplained. We know the word reality… but what constitutes to it?

This is a darn weird book… darn interesting … but I think u need to read it a couple of times to understand. Its about space, time, wraps, quantum mechanics and dunno what curve. Read it and discover things that are real and yet mysterious.

Recommended for those who wants to get a real good headache. Do not read this when hangover… it blows ur blood vessels.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Smells Like Dog Shit

Dried Durain Chunks

Finally managed to come across and buy this drain snack that Ed has been cursing me about for buying the wrong one. Firstly… this is not… durian CHIPS.. These are like meteoroids from space. I think they should be called durian CHUNKS.

Opened it in my room and a cloud of what smelt like dried dog shit dispersed immediately all through my room. Took one disgusting piece out… well… looks like dried dog shit too. Put one into mouth and….. MMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMmm mm mm m MMMMM m m mm m MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM mm m … Ed you are right… !!! this is darn shoik… WAHHAHAHAA lulain lulain… MMMMMMMMM!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Yoda Is A Mutated Frog

Yesterday…. The cycle was completed. Man…. Start Wars Episode III, awesome!!!! Wondered why poor Yoda always gets things thrown at him. In Episode II, he got rocks and stuffs flung at him, and now in III, he got more stuffs flung at him too. Poor little green Jedi. Seems like the bad guys are pretty fond of throwing things at Yoda.

Anyway… I squeezed out some time to catch the show with me gig. U know.. in Singapore if u were to watch in GV Grand… cost $50 for a couple right? Well yesterday… same GV Grand class… big sofa, free pop corn and drinks plus great sound system… hehehe only S$20!!!!!

When the show ended, I felt funny inside.. some weird emotional syndrome. The first time I watched Episode V, I was 12. Then I rented video tapes, watched IV and finally, there was VI, Return of the Jedi which I watched some years later. And now… after almost a gap of more then 20 years.. the whole story finally links together.. Wow… its like.. wow… (overwhelming dunno how to describe emotional hurricane in me). Its like a major event in most of our lives, for all of us, who are around in this lifespan to witness all the 6 episodes and finally know the full story. That’s it… all has been revealed… and it took 20 plus years! (tears roll down)… No more…. END… we live 20 plus years and now we saw it all. No more next… no more in suspense.

Don’t know if u know what I mean but this final episode has a tremendously strange slightly glad and sad effect on me to know that there will be no more Star Wars.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Omen of Good Luck

It is still raining… maybe the artificial rain making thing that Thailand did over the last few month was too successful. Been overcast and raining for 3 days already. When I was here last year, I remember it did not rain like this before.

Human Lightning Rods

Woke up this morning and had my usual first ciggy and coffee at my balcony. Looked over to my condo and saw these jokers standing at the top of the building. The sky was dark and flashes seen at distance. Think they playing “Who Wants To Be A Lightning Rod”. Just after I took this pic, big giant flash in sky bright bright and then the initial earsplitting crack followed by thunderous roar. Hahahahah… see all these goondus scrambling for their lives like clumsy monkeys climbing down trees (Never seen a clumsy monkey before anyway.).

Fuggin Dogz

Arrived at office and was greeted by porno dogs in front of my office door. This position… I think we humans cannot achieve without breaking something first. Wah paingz… I thought sway to see this kinda stuffs but my Thai friend told me it is good luck to see this. No darm firecrackers with me.. else they die.. ehehehehheeh.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Fuen Tok Liaooooo

The dog is faster then me, so is the cat. The grandmother along the pavement is faster then me. The birds… well yeah… definitely faster. The bicycle is faster then me. And even the darn snail by the wet road has velocity faster then my car.

Some one up there turned on the shower and left it on. The raining season is here. It was like hot forever… and then suddenly this morning at 4am.. the loudest thunder made my balls jump out of bed and drop on floor…The roar… its like nothing I hear before. I thought part of my apartment collapse. Its been raining and overcast ever since. Rain come.. jam stays. That’s the way it is in Bangkok. Took me 1 ½ hour to get back from my meeting place to the office. Well.. guess the wet season has finally started.

("Fuen Tok Liaoooo" means raining already. I think "Fuen means sky and Tok means falling. Liao, just like in Hokkien, means already. So the sky is falling down? I dunno.. still pretty bad in Thai.)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Brain Hang

Sure most of u know who unlce Rick is. He was here yesterday... so i natural death... now hangover...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Cold Crab

Cold Crab

I ate this yesterday… cold raw crab. Friend told me we have “cold crab” for dinner. In my mind was cold COOKED crab like those Hokkien or Teochew dishes. But… it was raw.. dead raw… meat was translucent.. crab eyeballs could have been still moving.. Seems to be freshly smashed to pieces by the kitchen hand, sprinkled with condiments and served straight to us. Some scary shit.

By the way… was out with Brian and his dad for the first half of the day yesterday. Brought them around eat good lunch, coffee and massage.

And as for Saturday being stuck in the office, I freed myself by climbing out the window.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Hungry Angry Man

A hungry man is an angry man. Worst if he ran out of ciggys and cannot have access to one. Very fuggin pissed… angry until lumpar tua suay liap. I am in a very very angry hungry deprived of ciggy state now.

I tried my best to dismantle the door with tools I have around, but I ain't no locksmith. I am just an angry angry man because they locked me the in office thinking I had the key. I can’t get out.. I am hungry… I am about to eat my PC. I decide to write angry Blog.

Colleague’s mama (she usually hangs around the office) and the accounting girls before leaving came to ask me if I had the keys. And I said yes I have, I have the keys to the metal door out in front of the office. Then they left… but they locked the inner bloody friggin CCB KNN paur CB kan puar zhi deh sai puar lumpar mutha friggin piece-of-shit pukimah glass door to which I do not have the keys to.

Very fuming now… waiting for someone to return to the office rescue me. Angry man bloggin.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Its Hairy And It Moves


Came to the office straight from the airport after arrival in Bangkok. Found this fluffy ball of hair in my room. Friend left his pet here while he went to site. Cute little fellow… only 9 months old and it kept licking my hand.

Bangkok I'm Coming Home

5 hectic days and 4 late nights, so fast and now my final morning in Singapore. Had so many meetings, so many catch ups, yesterday was the best. Four crazy people, sat outside a pub in China town and had four bottles of wine. Wine… an indication that we have grown. Talks on the table about life and about mothers. Talks about future husbands, talks about life and where it is going. Talks about the past and the times. Oh man…. Jac, Regine, Ade, we came a long way, we grown.

I am just dropping by, here to say hi for a while. And in a few hours, I’ll be leaving on a jet plane, back to chaotic life in Bangkok which is a stark contrast to the orderly fashion of life in Singapore. In my room now starting to pack. Wondering now, how am I supposed to move all my barang barang to my life in Bangkok. Guess I can’t move everything, just like how I can’t move all my great pals to Bangkok. Things I have to leave behind for that’s what life has gotta be. Its a torture emotionally I have to say but like I written before, I gotta move on.

We are all set on a course in life, but each in our own independent directions. And as we transverse the passage of time, we find that the distance in friendship stretches along the journey (for me it is a 10,000km stretch). As each individual get latched on to their career, their goals, their start of a family, gone will be the days where friends were bind by good classical physical closeness. Now they will have to be good memories living in a major part of my mind.

The strange thing about life, is that if we ever encounter each other once somewhere in time, somewhere in the future, some mysterious cosmic forces will definitely put us together again for just brief moments. It has already happened many times, like chancing upon a long lost friend at Sydney airport when I was up the escalator and he was down. Whatever it is at work on all this, I am glad it is there.

My best pal Evan will be on his way soon. To stuff curry fish head into my digestive track before my leave to continue my new life in Bangkok. It has been joyful, the past few days. I’ll miss all of you a great deal for sure.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Are Singapore women FAT???

Am high… came back after drinks..must write this.!!!!

Was trying to convince myself that I am biased towards everything is better in Thailand. Been back 3 day… unconsciously realized the butts of Singapore women is at least 1 ½ times larger then that of those I see in Bangkok. Was telling myself I was just biased. But when I went to Devils Bar to catch up with my choeng friends…. all that I perceive was reality, not imaginary!!!

Bar top dancing, was a massive female (ask your friends who are at Devils on 11 of May, Ladies Nite).. The image etched permanently like radiation burns into the retina of my eye!!! All the swaying attributes..!!! All women around me… really fat!!!!! Holy fugging shit!!!! What is happening in Singapore????1!!!! All the old fat cows pubbing???? WHY? WHY WHY? What happened to the good old days??? Are all women now fat in Singapore???? Is this a fad??? Is saggy butts and drooping breast a fashion?? All waist size at least 30 and above??? Only women above 30 go cheong these days??? This is far out!!! Totally extreme from the dancing slenderness I see in pubs of Bangkok!!! Maybe it only happens in Devils bar!!! What did the government put in the tap water???? What??? Burned into memory unable to erase!!! Nitghtmate!!! WHY?? 10 months away!! Fugging drastic changes!!! TELL ME… what happened in Singapore ???!!!!?????

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

How You Know u Been in Bangkok Long?

Ok I am back in Singapore for a short while and experience:

  • Singapore houses looks like pretty well organized Lego houses from the air and for the first time you find it pleasing.
  • Also for the first time, you find that everything is pretty and clean around.
  • You find the air is clean.
  • Ridiculously, you actually find Singapore climate to be cool.
  • You realize how gigantic the car license plates and their wordings are and wonder if all traffic policemen have eyesight problem.
  • You realized ah-beng Honda civic is now rare.
  • You see the new coffin shaped Honda Odyssey more then four times on the streets.
  • You don’t see old cars, everyone seems to be rich.
  • You need to open 3 locks on 2 doors to enter your home and you are not sure which keys to use.
  • You try to swim and realize your body creates a lot of drag, you feel like a whale.
  • Your cousin walked by you without recognizing you at the pool because you look like a whale.
  • You find hawker food expensive.
  • You accidentally speak Thai when ordering food and cannot speak Hokkien properly, mixing them all up. For a moment you do not understand what the F you are talking about anymore.
  • You want to drink Bandung.
  • You find food and drinks are not sweet.
  • You are bloated because of over-feeding, feels like gold fish.
  • You refuse to buy the blardee $10 ciggy to smoke.
  • You understand all the conversations around you as you walk on the streets.
  • You find good music in CD stores.
  • You feel invasion of privacy when u are at home with your grandma.
  • You enjoy bath because the water is heated.
  • You don’t have SCV and yet appreciate what you see on regular TV even though they are rubbish.
  • Foodball on TV has commentary in Malay.
  • You find the advertisements lack creativity and are not funny.
  • You are amazed at the speeds of the broadband you have at home.

The Strange Thai Durian

You know how we like our durians, soft pungent and melts in your mouth. Gig bought loads of durian over weekend. Thai durian meat is so hard that you can break windows with them. Don’t get it… its like eating chicken meat and its almost odorless. You can throw it on the floor and it bounces up to your face level too. Weird…

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Someone Died Outside My Office

Just came back after dinner. 11pm in night. As I approached the junction outside me office, saw flashing blue and red. Saw dead man on floor covered in white blanket. Blood,… blood all over as my wheels transverse over them flowing crimson fluid and probably squishing some gray matter as the police guide me with their torches slowly through.

Motorbikes… almost every other day some idiot will DIE!!!! Stoopid ass holes think they superhuman or what… zoom here zoom there cut in and out. Neber check blind spot cut into my lane and I have to jam my brakes. Sometimes, when the opposite lane is jam pack, these pesky bastards will come onto my lane, driving in the direct opposite direction of me and zoom back into some traffic crevices at the last moment before they near. And then.. the teenage riders, motor so loud, and the pillions they try to impress has her skirts flying wild as they travel at stupid fast speeds. They think their motor bike 5000cc, 0 – 100 in 2 seconds or what. No helmet some more. Travel in gangs they will, and die by the pairs they consistently. The Thai people refer to motorbikes as flies. Those pesky 200cc squeaky screamers.. always causing accidents. And guess what? The rules here are… if an accident occurs between a car and a motorbike, the bigger vehicle is always the one at fault, no matter what!! Riders… no responsibility and no brain. Can’t they be more responsible??? Even if got brain also no use because most of the time, the brain will be somewhere out of body, splattered on the tarmac cooking instantly in the baking sun. Sprinkle garlic, onions and pepper on them and it did smell real good.

My Roommate Is Smaller Then My Dick

Not a single ant, no more irritating mosquitoe bites on my ears when I sleep. Where have all the insects gone? I noticed there was a lack of creepy-crawly activities in my room these days. I have a new roommate. Its home is in my toilet and its address is below my wash basin. I could hear my roommate. Almost daily, it encounters near death experience and croaks for breath when I do the shit. The dying resonating croak within the walls of my toilet, so cute. I could see my roommate from time to time making its way home at 2am. From the balcony, it scurries over the opposite wall where I lay, over the TV as I am watching and into the bath room. I love lizards and I do not mind cleaning its waste off my balcony. With it around, I sleep good at night.

Was lazing away at home after work yesterday. Put in the Spongebob Squarepants Movie and laughed my head off. Lying on the bed, the air-conditioning on. My DVD playing with Spongebob and silly Patrick on my small TV screen. Room smoldering with my L&M’s and it really reminded me of something, some good times I had before.


Woke up 11. Looked out the balcony onto the parking lot below as I had my morning coffee and usual ciggy. My car was on heat… I meant … it was roasting itself in the scorching sun. Usually, these days my ass sizzles like pork chops on hot stones when I get into the car. I decided to bring the Volvo for a car wash as she was putting on weight from all the dust. Drove to the front of my apartment where there was a newly opened car wash. Darn…. 7 people washed my car and after the showering shampoo phase, all 7 of them wiped her squeaky clean. They even cleaned all the windows form the insides. All for just B$60 (SGD $2.40). Cant get this kinda standards in SG. As I watched the cleansing in the air conditioned hut having my second coffee, I kinda felt guilty that all 7 men worked so hard for just B$60. The laborious efforts I saw was completely lacking within the employees of my own office…. Sigh.

Thai Ciggy.

Back in the office, finishing everything I could before my trip to Singapore. Took a pic of Thailand’s ciggy for u guys to see. They just started these grossy pictures on the box thing to discourage people to smoke. Just like in Singapore. Nay, it aint gonna do me no effect… I’ll still smoke.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Relax at Corner

Why is it that, one only works what one is paid for? Why is it that, when one is left alone with no supervision, one simply stare into thin air trying to see if one could see the micro particles that constitutes to the atmosphere? Why is it that, under the mentioned circumstances, one would not improve oneself by learning but instead turn to indulge oneself in activities directly related to the sluggishness of life? Why is it that, under the same mentioned circumstances, one would not self-instigate perfection into the establishment that has been keeping ones delicate life afloat? Why is it that, when faced with difficulties, one simply halts all process of thoughts and regress ones brain into an inoperative slacken mode and not even bother to invite wisdom from others for an answer? Instead, one when faced with a situation just mentioned will straightforwardly sweep one’s responsibilities under one’s carpet, very sure that the volatile behavior of dynamic human memory will sneak up on all those around. One has forgotten the beauty of Task List in Outlook and when questioned on the outcome of duty given, genetically gives a blank look and positively attributes the anomaly of ineptitude onto another entity. Why is it that when time is in one’s hand, minutes turns to hours, hours turns to days and one has the inert supernatural ability to bend the boundaries of Space Time Continuum?

I have no answer. Welcome to Working in Thailand.

Uncle Presvin was here for a good week. Unfortunately, he took the wrong week to come. There are two holidays this week. In fact, Thailand’s calendar is sprinkled generously with holidays like Hersheys on a chocolate chip cookie. Yesterday was one such holiday and for the first time, I successfully attempted not to power up my notebook for more then 24 hours. Went out with Presvin almost the whole day, gig came along too. We talked about many, dined around twice and shop around plenty. I have not done something like that for a long time, to be absolutely detached from work. Watched several DVDs over the passed two days till my skin fused to bed, bought myself a blender and made icy cold drinks for contrast to the weather. Totally adopting the habitual practice of existence mentioned on the grumblings I written above.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

May Day Blues

(i am stuck out side my office... no one to open door...)

Why no one works on Holidays? I know it is May Day today, but there should be someone in the office! Why? Becoz nobody deserve to rest unless they are generating loads of money for the company. I am now, out side my office, in the blardee car park, checking my emails through my wireless LAN and feeding the mosquitoes until they fat fat. Why??? Becoz, no blardee soul is in the fuggin office rite now. Fug!

And why did the fugging dog bite me on Friday? Why? Do I look like a cat? A Walking hot dog? Pork Ball??? Chinese Sausage?? WHAT?!!!! WHY???? Why the fuggin dog bite me in the nite when I am leaving my customer place???? Nin Nambleh!!!! WHY WHY WHY???