Friday, February 19, 2010

Simple Toilet Pastime

Found only in male toilets round town, for you to practice aiming. Attempt made even more challenging if done hands free. Not available in female toilets. Vaginas cannot take aim unless you are the ping pong lady from Patpong.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

That Ledge

See that ledge over there that’s way too high for a ledge? Thought it was to be anti vermin, but hey rats could jump. Thought it was anti reptiles but hey, snakes could climb.

Well, lets say you have one of those cheap one-man-operation nursery full of babies from neighboring houses. Teenage parents leave them kids with you because they have to sell hand phone, tout pirated DVDs or whatsoever at MBK for whole day. Rain come heavy, you have to go upstairs for something. Flash flood begins, the Chaophaya overflowing. Next thing you know when you come down you see all the toddlers floating face down motionless together with cockroaches using them like islands in Maldives accompanied by one or two drowned cats also floating face down.

Found in most low lying houses, it’s to prevent genocides like the above. That’s how high the water goes during heavy rains. Was told the water gets higher every year and ledges like these needs to be raised. The ledge, something that you don’t get to see everyday.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Chuoy Duoy Chuoy Duoy So Soft

Chuoy Duoy, the Thai word for “help me”, a voice so squeaky and soft we heard while dining by the road side. Me car parked alongside up ahead, the street lights never maintained and broken, the pavement for pedestrians so dark.

As she ran weakly her body so petite, she screamed but sounded like she was more of talking “Chouy Duoy, Chouy Duoy…..”. The diners all stood up and moved over to watch the commotion as she ran alongside traffic chasing the invisible man we did not see.

She was walking along minding her own business, a man just walked alongside her, pried her handbag off her and took off like a hyena with its catch in its crutches. Volunteers from the shop, some diners, dashed in her direction towards the animal. But in the end, the robber took a turn somewhere into the myriad of dark alleys, he was never caught.

As the commotion died down, the people returned to their tables and the talk continued. Bangkok so chaotic, the sound of sirens, flashing red and blue sped passed towards an accident somewhere. Scooters so loud blaring by, Taxis driving like formula one. Suspicious looking characters on motorbikes wearing full faced tinted helmet cruising close to the walkways. So it is reputed, Bangkok is dangerous as sometimes we get to see. But be wise, avoid uncertain dark places that’s all to is. Bear in mind you tourist expats or what not to be, someone will always be watching you for that opportunity and when it happens, you did be stun beyond action. Watch your belongings, tight grip on your handbag ladies. Bangkok will always be Bangkok, the denizens from darkness there always will be.