Friday, April 18, 2008

This is Songkran??

And true enough, over Songkran the accidents and the sirens. About 400 people died in just 4 days. My employees crashed another company car. Sigh.

As usual, the traffic went haywire when the small streets were filled with people. As you can see from the picture, the wetness is not of the rain, but of all the splashy fun. This is a festival where all roads turn into walking streets. Cars have to be caution not to run over their feet. Rules are meant to be broken and so are bodies. Near to 4000 injuries reported. Death comes in comical situation. Gig’s colleague cracked his head and hospital was full. Went to two hospitals that turned him away because of many more broken heads being attended to. He bled to death in the third hospital and added to the nation’s statistics.

And who was the winner of the festival splashing the most amount of water on the most number of people. Oh Buddha floating on your skateboard clouds the winner you are. On the fourth day, a day after Songkran, you made the heavy rains fell. And on the fifth day you broke the rule and throw ice cubes at all of us for a minute in the afternoon. Hail in Bangkok the world is crazy. Global warming oh yeah Buddha.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Indian and the Snake

Now, most of us Singaporean will know the joke about – The Indian and the Snake, which you will shoot first if you have a gun? Here comes the German version, original from German's mouth unaltered, and not hearing the Singapore version before.…..

You have a gun and only 2 bullets left. You see an Indian and a Snake. What will you do? First, shoot the Indian. Then, shoot Indian again, make sure Indian is dead. The snake you can ignore.

(The German company was conned by an irresponsible cunning Malaysian Indian company, their project was abandoned unfinished by the latter after 90% payment and the German company was left to die.)

Oh Strange Vietnam

Now.. not only do they have an amazing way of brewing the coffee with the above apparatus, what is weird is that these shops are set up along the streets, facing the road. People just sit there and watch the traffic goes by, for hours. And for your info, Vietnam coffee is power, very very extremely power.

Some of these that I have been to play very loud electronic dance floor music. Some are as posh or even more then Starbucks and opens late into the night. Instead of alcohol consumption and dancing to the heavy bass, they all just sit down and drink coffee, again for hours. I don’t get it.

The one beside my hotel has 25 scantly covered young girls serving coffee. They come to sit next to you, but I speak no Vietnam. All they could do was smile, all I could do was stare at their budging breast and droll in silence. I confirm now, that if you think Thailand has the most beautiful girls, you are wrong. 75% of Vietnam women are fair, pretty and voluptuous. No wonder I hear so many Singaporean man love Vietnam. In this coffee shop I read a book, my mind wonders why the rest stares at nothing facing the road, their mind and eyes wonders why I am reading a book.

Voluptuous waitress in mostly male restaurants is also parts of their strategy to attract customers. I been to one and I got full on eye candy, not food. Imagine the restaurants’ plan is to make your cock stand when eating lunch. The Vietnamese man loves it and these restaurants have very good business.

Crossing the roads in Ho Chi Min requires balls of steel. And if you dropped them when doing so, you can never have a chance to retrieve your balls.

There are no MacDonald’s in Ho Chi Min. There is only Lotteria, which at first I thought was a 4D lottery shop or something. Coke with Shrimp or Chicken Balls.. very strange drink. But I believe the balls should be served separately, not in the Coke or it did be really weird.

Best of all, they have a smoking room in there.

Now everything in Vietnam is very small. Small tables, small men, small restaurants, small office, small house. Only the breasts are big. Everything else is small. See how the giagantor ang moh had to sit for coffee. See how we all sit. Not easy when you are fat and could well roll over the stubby chairs, kuay teow on your face.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Songkran has Changed

So what happens on Songkran? The picture above shows what’s gonna happen. Expect scores of drunk drivers, scores of accidents. Any festival in Thailand in this era is represented by the sounds of recurring sirens, injuries and untimely deaths.

It is going to be the Thai New Year just the week after. Denizens of the Kingdom making plans for their annual home visit. Hordes of cars will be leaving Bangkok, family reunion long awaited ensues. It is much like Chinese New Year and scores of business will be off an entire week. And so, we all expect the postcard exhibited spirit of happiness, all the smiling Thai faces drenched of course, all the extra friendliness, all the colors and water splashes. But is this really the case?

I spoke to an old lady, a generation into the future from me. I asked the aunty what she is going to do on the joyful day, expecting an answer that she will walk the neighborhood and celebrate with the long time residence of her surrounding.

Aunty: I am going to stay at home and not go out at all.
Me: What? Why…? Songkran, Thai people love Songkran and it is time for celebration, reunion, splash water with stranger right?
Aunty: No way, stay at home safer. Long time ago, Songkran was pure, we were all happy and throw water at each other. Nowadays, people put salt in the water and that makes our body really itchy after we get splashed.
Aunty: When I took bus last year during Songkran, people throw ice blocks at the bus because we had our windows down. They shattered the window. Songkran nowadays is a crazy period, so dangerous. I am going to stay home.
Me: errr… wow.. that’s bad… why throw ice? I thought it is just powder mix with water at a max to prank on strangers?
Aunty: Thai people are crazy nowadays, it is no longer like during decades ago where Songkran was celebrated purely, with pure water to cleanse on to wash away the bad things. Now, you won’t know what get splashed on you.

Songkran has lost her meaning in this modern society. It is now a period to be celebrated with caution against recklessness, you have to be on guard all the time. Songkran is no longer the period where one could be walking the streets getting to be splashed gleefully. The meaning of the festival is to wash away the bad things, but now…. bad things come to you in surprising splashes or projectiles. The whole country will be drenched in a messy dirty concoction instead of being washed by the pure splashes. What have the people been watching on television to cause such a cruel twist in a pure tradition?

So sad.

And what do I do on this festival? I have been scheduled to work in the bloody power plant. Rich people don’t work on holidays. Poor people do.

Whats good in Chok Chai Farm tours?

Bulging inviting butts.

Anyway, Chok Chai steakhouse is 200km away north after Saraburi. Other then spending most of your eyeball time on the guide’s lower distraction, you get to see how milk is made.

They also have a petting zoo there… pet the animals… not the butt.