Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Got Hole?

My worker, a girl of 16 married at 15 she did. Why I asked. To tie her flirtatious boyfriend down she replied. Only one word in my mind – Naive. The majority of Thai men I know are sexual predators. You mix around with them, you pub with them, you talk to them you know. A pubbing event is not about catching up with friends and relaxing, but is all about looking for prey. See how desperate they get when near closing hours and laugh in your hearts witnessing what steps and what spoken strategy they use. But strangely, most desperate attempts results in a fruitful night at the short-time shack hotel for THB$400 for 2 hours. Theses hotels are everywhere, theses predators are everywhere and so are preys.

We met a neighboring country business girl during a business trip on the flight so full of businessmen. The next thing I knew my colleague screwed her. A boss went with a worker for an out-country trip, tired he was a traditional massage he needed. But the worker wanted otherwise and so worker was given some welfare to visit the “special” massage while boss went to another joint for the tradition massage. Traditional massages are performed by senior ladies of at least 40 and up. They don’t provide any “special” and even if they do, you did need a massive dosage of Viagra to achieve workable penile status, probably more effective if you are unconscious. We will not screw our grandmas let’s put it this way. The worker finished his business and came over to the traditional joint. He chatted with a massage aunty, then he screwed her for THB$500 while waiting for boss. Puke…..

I once rewarded my hard working staffs. Brought them to a “fish-tank” I did, in a far off dull provincial project I was. Okay, so it was really cheap the rates but I have my code of specifications. I could most certainly associate each of them service providers with at least one type of mammal, crustacean or even trucks in serious high speed crashes. My staffs screwed them anyway. There I sat and waited. I sipped beer and had problems swallowing both the drink and the thought of walking into a zoo and grabbing any otter, platypus, senior squirrels in range and performing procreating acts with them.

Thai men, they go for anything with a hole. Witness by yourselves in your prolong time in this Kingdom and you will realize most men are “open-spec”, meaning no specifications required. If you are foreign woman here you could get to see how they make their moves on you. You could be a rich lady on another status level. They could be the boy from lower management. It doesn’t matter their society limits they won’t be concerned. They just want your you know what they want.

So what happens to the DNA of some Singaporeans who were relocated here for a long career? Then back to Singapore these some were posted. Bring back the fun, bring back the days and only in memory should it be linger. Some had changed and became “open-spec” and to hunt in Lucky Plaza some had did. Filipinos, yes some do look like Thais, but for Buddha’s sake have some standards, don’t be a maid fu*ker.

Most Thai men, anything can screw they screw - unbelievable. And also the fire-and-forget principle applies, for which the case of the business girl I will mention. Before the achievement my colleague always cited about her. After the gain, no more references and his target (the hole) had been reset afresh. It’s like they are cavemen of sorts, to eat to sleep to hunt and to sex. How to stop such behavior you wonder? Well, have a domain of single gender and have all men no women. You can’t stop them, you can’t alter their primordial behavior. Some will turn gay and they will try to have children with each other.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Hidden Bangkok

You could be driving along and turn into a street you never did in Bangkok, and wooo yeah. Heaps of scantly dressed ladies with their bosoms so revealing telepathically communicating with your groin. Smiling in the shadows between street lights, the tigress knocks on your windows as you cruised at a snail’s paced by. You could have them for 1000 a night. The topic ain’t about this… hehe.

You could be driving along and turn into a street you never did in Bangkok, and … be greeted by the most remarkable view you had ever seen while in Bangkok. A field of sunflowers, dead in the middle of nowhere, in a period you know Sunflower seasons ain’t suppose to be. Amazing Thailand.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

A Future Business – Sell Boats

It only seems to get worst, the flood I encounter as the Bangkok years went by. Rain like never before, winds so strong they flip trees and roofs over. Flood the streets I live inundated. You want to visit a floating market you won’t need to travel far. The wooden booth, the aluminum push carts, the peddlers on the streets all soaked in water, floating market is everywhere. Rain, it had did heavy, the air in Bangkok so clear after. Fresh the air is, clear the sky I see the distance for miles. Boats a business one could do Bangkok, given another 10 years sea level rises as global warming prevails over.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

They Ain’t no Barley

Ok guys, this is gross. If you happen eat around with friends of the E-San and see what seems to barley beans, ask first. This was a picture I took from the menu. Those white bean like stuffs – red ants eggs (the curry pok antz we call them in Singapore, those in rambutan trees). I don’t want no ants to crawl out me backside hole, I don’t wanna eat them.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I been busy, that’s all I can say for not updating my blog. It’s been more then a month and I’ve ventured into unknown territory and learned much more about Thailand then I ever could. Those I shall write along the way but today, I bring to you numbers.

Ang mohs believe 13 is bad, 13 is good for Chinese. 13 for Thais don’t really mean anything, but surprisingly some blocks of condos just don’t have the floor 13. 9 is a good number for Thais as I did mention before, and 4 does not mean die (we Chinese don’t like 4). I have been seeing special license plates with all 4s. If one dreams of snakes, then one buys lottery number with 6s or 9s. And now about 25 and 30, not for Lottery or Toto numbers, but these two numbers are associated with something about age. 25 for Thai ladies just ripe, many get married by then, and 30 is just over the edge. Shelf live expires if unmarried, but hey that’s all universal and not just for Thai ladies. Its not about marriage here I wanna share, Thais believe these two ages are critical points in one’s life. If one gets over these two years alive, one would likely go on to live till a fruitful old age.

Thais believe many unlucky things could happen during the ages of 25 and 30. I know someone who is 30, many accidents she encountered this year and in one, the car was completely crushed. Fortunately, she’s still alive and kicking in my office now. So, she will most likely get married, have kids, and expire at 100 or whatever. My worker tells of his many misfortunes, his age at 25 the upper heavens tested him unforgiving. He was knocked off his motorcycle by a robber, and the heavy cars whizzed by him without crushing his head. Many more stories to hear if you just ask around, and you will find them most interesting all the stories they say they could been dead. Be caution all they say, don’t do the adventurous, don’t do the risky at those ages.

25 and 30 they will come, but for me it was way over and I seemed to have the best times of my pubbing days then. Maybe in those years the lightning had struck the tree I was near, but in those state of memory lapses how could I have remembered.