Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Little Miss Grouchy

Well not exactly… she is an old fat bag of grouchiness. This is how all who goes to the Thai Embassy in Singapore will be going to have for the impression of Thailand. She comes around the queue early in the morning, a Singaporean who speaks bad Thai shouting commands at her subordinates. Like your childhood form teacher she will be, checking on all your forms and particulars at hand. And when she spots a mistake, she will tell you to correct them in a stern voice and that “I had not had sex since 23 years ago face”. What’s this many would wonder… ain;t Thailand suppose to be the Land of Smiles? Oh no, in Singapore you are, this ain’t no Little Thailand. And then the Frenchman forgot to bring one of his particulars and turned into a wet market the place did.

OBG (old bag of grouchiness, in very rude tone): “No, you cannot get your Visa today, you must show your air ticket, Singapore to Bangkok and Bangkok to your home country.”

Well the very first rule of customer service she broke, was that she never spoke with politeness…

FM (Frenchman): “I don’t have them with me, but why should I show?”
OBG: “No, rule change now, must show, and you must bring SGD$1000 with you, or else no Visa.”
FM: “But I only have Euro$200.”
OBG: “Then you cannot get your Visa lah.”

Secondly… instead of being helpful to explain, she made the situation worst by emphasizing the SGD$1000. FM then started to get really agitated.

FM: “Why? How am I to show ticket, I live in Thailand, I come to Singapore to get my Visa. I am going back to Bangkok marry my Thai woman, how am I to show ticket for Thailand to my home country? I have not plan to go back to my country. I am marrying in Thailand.”
OBG: “No! Rule change, you don’t have documents you no Visa today. Must have SGD$1000 and ticket to show Singapore Bangkok, Bangkok to home country.”

FM then moved out of the queue, tempers raging as OBG walked away ignoring the FM to check on others. Again, OBG did not explain or help in finding an alternative or suggest a solution but treated the customer like a children with an “I don’t care, no lollipop for you today” attitude. FM then re-approached OBG.

FM: “I want to speak to your boss, what am I suppose to do? Why you have so many rules? You have to help me.”
OBG: “I don’t want to talk to you early in the morning. You no Visa today, must have documents. We changed our rule and all have to follow”.
FM: “I don’t understand why show ticket Bangkok to my home country.”
OBG: “You don’t have SGD$1000 no Visa for you.”

See, OBG simply did not want FM to have his Visa. Then she diverted attention to the fact that FM had only Euro$200. OBG simply wanted to agitate the FM.

FM (raging read faced inferno): “I have Euro$200, how am I to know I need SGD$1000?????”
OBG: “No, no, I don’t want talk to you. You must show ticket Singapore – Bangkok. Then we know you will go to Bangkok, if not how we know you go to Bangkok. Bangkok to your home country, no need. You no SGD$1000, you no Visa today.”

Strangely, she had then revealed a little more info which could help. You only needed to show the ticket confirmed for Singapore to Bangkok, and not Bangkok to another country. That gave me relieve for that was what I had. I was listening intensely as I only had the Singapore to Bangkok ticket.

The argument went on a whole hour, the helpless FM went to the counter arguing, the helpless FM chased down the OBG arguing, the FM was all over the embassy and no one provided him with a clam reply and properly explained the situation to him in a professional manner.

So now when we, the ones who went to Thai Embassy in Singapore think of Thailand, we think of grouchiness, not the Land of Smiles. If that’s the way Thailand wants to portray their image, an old bag of grouchiness, so be it.

Monday, May 26, 2008

A Short Catch Up

We had our drinks my old pals and me. Miss them I did, very much. And as we walked through the shadows in the valley of tipsiness, my black friend mentioned he had just been to Japan and soaked in the natural springs with the untamed monkeys of the surrounding. Wow. When will time allow, for the group of us to go crazy together again, a holiday to be enjoyed in the true company of friends?

If we did be rich and the strictness of time permits, it won’t be just black man in the spring alone. It could be him, Manoj, eyes wide open, mouth opened head titled back catching for breath in the rocky spring with the red ass money sucking his cock under water. And Yoga Brian, with his camera running around naked, taking shots of Manjo in ecstasy, practicing at the same time some obscure lost art of lum par yoga. Three moneys dangling from between his legs as he moves around and snaps away on his SLR. One money sucking his cock, the others independently sucking his left and right ball. Yes and they are all dangling heavily and Brian can take it no problem. Com’on, he can dangle 42” LCD TV from his balls, what are three monkeys to him. Wait… actually there is a fourth money, fucking Brian’s ass from behind, also dangling.

And Evan, well, laughing aloud at Manjo, but with an expensive colorful Japanese carp suckling frantically at his cock underwater. And me, typing away this blog in the mist of the cold Japanese weather oh yeah.

Gotta plan for a holiday with friends. But again, when will time and money permits.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Singapore Massacre, by China

As I waited for my friend to fetch me form Terminal 2, the lady in her slightly glittering grey dress attracted my eyeballs to uncontrollably just stare. In surprise as then me thought Singapore girls are really getting prettier after long period of not being back on the island city. And then she approached me, and I thought I was lucky.

“Do you speak Chinese?” she asked in mouthful of western accented English.
“Here is which floor?” in her China gun she continued.

And so, I realized, she was a China women, probably waiting for her Singapore loan shark sugar dad to pick her up.

In the MacDonald’s I was, and there was a fat old man not much to look at, with an accompanying sweet young thing of about twenty two, chubby fair and that so sweet face. Ran through my mind was that hey, I didn’t know it’s a trend now for young Singapore girls to be dating loaded mature man, age differences of roughly twenty. Is the culture changing to that likeness of Bangkok where most girls are in a way “smarter”, following the Darwinian’s theory - survival of the fittest and the boy band looks are not of priority? And in China gun she spoke as they whisked passed me. Oh I see.

And so on the bus I was, and nothing attracted me like the pair of exotic looking girls so much standing out from the rest of the bus load of other people, other girls. In China gun they spoke. And in the car park, the old Beng walks away from his sporty ride, the girl was so attractive, in China gun she spoke.

What has become of Singapore? Is the Singapore girl so bland with their always almost flat facial features? The men are all hooking up with exotic women from the China land. The China women are all attaching themselves to the loaded male Singapore population. The man falls easy prey to the taste of a different pasture. We are invaded and so now I know why many had told me, Singapore is infested with the people of China. They have come to take our money, it’s always about money wherever you are.

In their dog-eat-dog country where competition in this playing field is strong, they had envisioned and devised the ultimate plan. Infestation of the money rich land and reap what they can, there will be a better yield rate. And so we are attracted by their exoticness, men we are all testerone driven. But certain of these people from the lands of our ancestors, are ten times uglier within then that worst of characters you thought.

Thai people don’t like the China tourist for reasons. They shoved their way through crowds without any slight exhibition of politeness and apologies. Rude they are, speaking always at the top of their voices, the world they think under their feet, their chin held high as the talked. They bring their dog-eat-dog mentality to wherever they go, you are a stranger your will always be their enemy, they push you aside.

In my orderly queue at the MRT station, a China Airlines bitch forced her way into mine as I was at the gate, she swiped her card on the reader, just as I was about to swipe mine. She didn’t care, she shoved me and walked into my way then just passed through the gate. This attitude, now injected into the already Kiasu island city as more and more of our gullible men opens the opportunities for more of them to come. How ugly then will the Singaporean becomes. We are not really renowned for our manners, now it will only get worse.

I could see why so many of us are attracted to them. The very majority of Singapore girls are too plain for my taste now and so do many share my views. They treat us like a King in our private domain, we never felt this way before. We are pig’s head on the butcher’s table. But beware, they are descendants of farmers, simple mindedly, they only fight for their own survival and we have to admit, they are very witty, cunning and manipulative to put in bad words. Be awake when you involve them into your lives. Its going to be carnage in Singapore with the ever increasing grow of their infestation.

The Chinese are coming, the Chinese are coming. Or, are they already here?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Do u M?

Ask by a Thai… “Do u M”? In my mind “M simi lan jiao (aka … WTF is M..)????”

“M – MSN.”

Still trying to get in line with Thai acronyms.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

MH2001 Wireless Headphones

Thinking that good things come cheap.. no. This is what cost SGD$12, made in China. It will never work in Bangkok. Too many radio waves. Instead of tuning to the TV it was connected to, the headphones tuned itself to all other radio channels with a mind of her own.

I opened it, attempting to attach an external antenna to the circuitry. Obviously as seen in the bin, it was a frustrating 2 hours that resulted in this picture.

Made in China products, can you trust them? I worry now that most power plants and installations are now flooded with aggressive cheap protection products from China. They cost so much less then the European’s. Price cheap, quality zero. But the Thais are buying into them anyway. Too easily fooled by what’s on the cover of the book. Same me as in the MH2001 case.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

What goes Ka-Boom on the Road

Your tyres, yes they do. Especially if you have not changed them for two years and especially if you drive fast for work out country most of the time. Thailand is not like Singapore, where there is always a petrol station round the corner where assistance is readily available.

Rules of thumb. Must change tyre once every 2 years, even if they look new, because they can dry up and crack with the ultra hot weather here. Yes, it is expensive if you are using anything smaller the 55s. But stingy you must not I learn. I had them 55s for three years and change them I did not. Could have flown off the bridge in a spinning car and be mistaken for a Peugeot UFO crashing down from Venus.

Totally burnt while driving flat unaware at speeds until overwhelming burning smell detected.

Other still groovy wheels have ashes in them due to wear and tear or heat or whatever I am unaware of. Ticking random time bomb.

It sucks… maintenance sucks. Maintenance = sometimes unexpected last minute unbudgeted spending. On this episode, lucky for me I have spare. I have tools. Have car in Thailand, other then must have money to maintain (especially older cars), must be prepared for self service of everything.

Remember, Thailand is no place where you can expect AA like service and have the mechanic find you. That is if you can tell the mechanic your location in the first place. This land, all signs are Thai and all roads leads to Seven Eleven. Not care about preventive maintenance? Roads will lead to Heaven.

The Fish Bridge

Every town near the sea will always have Saphan-Blar aka Fish Bridge. Well it is not exactly a bridge but a jetty instead. But I guess Thai does not have a word called jetty and so saying “I want to go jetty buy fish” will result in them guiding you to the nearest petrol station called Pump Jet, or Jiffy.

This is Saphan-Blar of Ang Sila in Chonburi. The immediate sea surrounding is a huge oyster farm. This is where you can get fresh catch for your kitchen cheap from the fishing boats arriving. They have scallops too and you could see the discarded shells all over the jetty together with the rubbish stew. Thais are not really environmental friendly and they cannot comprehend the fact that dumping in the area where they eat the shellfish in the oyster beds where they farm is not really a clever thing to do. The folks there are like fish, breathing drinking and eating shit in their own shit pool. So avoid the oysters all you can.

Driving there has always been enjoyable, at speeds of 160 for near 40 minutes enjoying the power of your engine roar before merging into the traffic of Chonburi. However, with prices of stupid petrol inflating like nobody’s business, I am not sure how long more I can enjoy road trips like these as I feel the pockets already starting to burn. Petrol prices now are like in Singapore 4 years ago. At SGD$1.60 per liter. I was complaining then back home. Now, I am complaining in the Land of Smiles. Why did the land not turn into Land of Frowns with escalating prices of everything that was so cheap I don’t know. I am frowning as I pumping gas. The Thais next car still smiling, no effect. New cars flood the road everyday. I must live like Thai, spend all my money no care about future, want the car, want the face, high petrol price no scare me. Or yes go convert to LPG where the electronic idiot mechanics had no idea about air fuel ratio, effects of ECU on engine and drive cheap for $300 Baht per tank till your engine disintegrates. But no, I not stupid must cut down on indulgence. My name is Kings, but I am nowhere near a King.