Nipple Standing Season

Huhuhuhuh….. yeah yeah winter is here (officially reported 15 Nov) However, in the afternoon… the weather is still blazing hot. It is only from the late afternoon till mid morning that’s cool….

Its been quite a while since I blogged again. Lets see…

Loi Kathong festival just over. Did what other Thais did. Went to hunt for a place to release my floating lantern with gig. Bloody packed every place that’s near the river. Buay tahan. Too darn crowded. So went to hunt for a place less crowded at some weird pier. Released my floating lantern only to see it rammed by a stupid passing boat nearby. Assholes.

Drove lone ranger style (my engineer can’t drive) all the way to Kon Kean and back for a servicing job. Its 1000km drive up north east and back. Had my meals on the hills, the petrol kiosk and such local places. Oh yeahhh the weather so cool, drive with my windows down, the cool breeze messing my hair. I am in paradise.

Weekend just past was spent traveling on the Chao Paya river on the public boat transport. Just like public buses. You hop onto the boat from the pier (yes… jump onto boat over gap of treacherous water), tell them your destination, pay a mere THB11 (40 cents SGD) and enjoy the bumpy ride. The river is very high this time of the year. You see houses along the river partially submerged in the water, the temples and some pier too. There has been lots of flooding lately. Reached my destination called The Wet (pronounce tee-wet). Oh my Buddha…. Soooo many many many big fishies… Didn’t have my camera… shit. Me and gig bought a pack of bread and fed them. There were so many…. They created quite a stir when frantically gobbling the bread that water splashed all over onto the pier. (And the Thais say this is normal…..)

Now back to work… busy like fug.

Old Man Me

Wah…. Incredible…. My office so sweet. They surprised me with cake, birthday song and a present. Shit.,,, me old man now. Big THIRTY FOUR… shit.

And I know why I got bloody toothache. Last Saturday… I went to good old Oishi buffet again with gig. For only SG$16 per pax… u get free flow of Alaska crab, abalone so juicy, tempura, salmon sashimi… etc etc etc. Eat until explode once again. As u can see… Thailand is a place where u can suicide by overeating on good food.

Me Driving License

Heheheh…. I got MY DRIVING LICENSE… legal legal!!!! Fug the strict driving test back home. I got mine here in just one day, and only cost me SG$4. Gig got hers on same day today, after only 16 hours of driving lessons in 2 weeks. Cost.. SG$140 for all the lessons.

Its quite an ordeal. Morning reach test center at 8am. Was handed a bunch of forms. All in Thai. Moody big sized woman officer talked to me in Thai only and I lan-lan try to listen. Medical test for color blind. I shout out colors in English as officer point to colors on a board. Next guy in queue came and also did the same. Officer shouted across the room in Thai “You don’t need to speak English, you are Thai, tell me colors in Thai. You are not from another country…”. Eheheheheheheheh. Theory lessons, one hour in Thai. I catch no ball. So sit in front of computer after that and anyhow press button answer questions. I passed.

Then afternoon, practical test, must use own car. I used the truck. Drove into small dead-end, reversed back out. Then parallel parked to the left in not more then 7 gear moves. Drove out and stopped before a stop sign, had to park within 25cm of the kerb, not more then 50cm away from sign. Got out of car, signed name. Passed the test. Wee hooo…..

Today is an odd day. Me and gig drove in a truck to the test center without license, and drove out with it. We were not the only ones doing that FYI. Some other guys that went for car and motorcycle test, all have no license and they drove to the test center for test too.

And I have a fugging toothache for three fuggin days straight. This is so fug. I hate going dentist. I need to go…. Maybe tomorrow..



As for this prawn picture, the biggest prawn I ever seen when having a business lunch one day. Don’t park under or go near. May be killed by falling prawn head.

2 Trips 1 Month too Many

October.over.so.darn.fast.and.i.will.be.34.soon. FUG!

Time flies. Scary as shit. Half of lifespan over. Piangs… Lao liao lao laio. Si beh sianz.

A bunch of monks came to office on Monday. Blasted the office with chants and holy water and painted graffiti on the wall. In Singapore we get lion dance but here, we get 9 monks.

See pictures here under Office Blessing 2005.

Been on 2 trips, Lopburi and Samui. Pictures here under Thai Trippin Oct 2005.

And if u notice from the billboard above, i be going SG soon on the dates specified.

Shake me Bangkok

Hey guys. I am still alive. I am still alive because I am not dead. (U must be wondering WTF am I tokking about.???) I am not dead because there was no earthquake. Beginning of this month, there were reports on news. A group of geologist has confirmed the high possibility of a tremendous earthquake hitting Bangkok between 13th till 29th October 2005. Over a million people will perish and there will be floods as high as the second story. There was a great crack discovered in jungles of northwest regions in recent years. That was a clue that Thailand could be prone to quake. Geologist discovered lost cities under the ground in north region, indicating entire civilization has perished in the past due to natural calamities.

I sit on the toilet bowl every day. My balls never even swing left to right. There was no quake. The only time the buildings was swaying left and right was when under influence of alcohol in Samui last week.



See… that’s me in the pic, still alive up on the roof doing my usual smoke in the sunset routine. Weather is pleasant now near winter. 4pm on and the sun is kind, the wind is cool.

Samui AGAIN

Guess where I went? Samui again!!!!! It was a long weekend just and my colleges decided to go there and so, yipeeyayea… Samui.


That’s where I saw the greatest big mutha fuggin house lizard in my life. Bigger then your dick and I am sure it has got no problem biting your precious extruding genital off as well. It’s a Tok-Kay. Gecko in English. It has got red spots all over and it is about a feet long.


We had drinking session in the night. See the pic… that’s the way Thai’s do it. Find place put mat on floor and drink. Then just sit talk eat tidbits until senseless and wonder like red face ghost into room and sleep.


Sea was rough this time of year. Rainy too. If you don’t wanna have sex, there nothing much else to do. Cant make love. All colleges there. And I am sure it is not a good idea to penetrate your female colleges. But… hehe my gig was there. (Do not assume I fug like a rabbit there, too much people. Not a good idea.)


Spent 2 nights there. It was a 10 plus hour drive on Friday night from 8pm till 6am on Saturday morning. On the way back, the Corolla blew its engine. I think I am getting quite use to this engine blowing up thing when on long distance. First it was the Volvo a few months back when I was in Kon Kean and now the Corolla. So we sat by the road and fed mosquitoes for a while. 10 people cannot squeeze into remaining car. We spend another night in Surat and took a bus back in the morning.

Nice holiday. Relaxing. And witnessed the death of Corolla.


And here’s a pet squirrel. Can nibble fingers off, dun play play.

Cool Bangkok Ahead

It’s the third day now, the third day when the night is cool. Breezily dry wind that chills your body. I love it. Its like early autumn in Perth. I stand in the shade on a sunny day, the air that blows is cool. I am totally stressed from work. But this feeling I get from the weather makes me bask in delight. I smoke on the roof to see the sunset. I smile for no apparent reason. I love it. Winter is here.

U there… in Singapore still sweating like pigs, ahahahahahha.

Singaporean’s one Bigger n Longer

Fug Dell crashed again on Thursday. Spend whole day reinstall everything. Think ever since ants decided to make their nest in my Dell… things are going abit cranky.



Came to office 630 am today, started working to recover lost time. Saw food stall outside selling Thai version of you-char-kuay and hum-chim-peng. All small small ones… very cute.

Since taking about food, want to tell u guys that I stumble upon bak-kuar lately. Just like then Mei-Chen-Xiang ones in Singapore. Here got one brand called Lin-Chen-Xiang. You won’t believe this….. TH$32 per 100g. That is TH$320 (SG$12) per kilo. Weeeehooooooooooooooo…. Waist expand waist expand.

Stormy Thailand

Had a fever last week and mum so kanchoing she thought I gonna die for sure of Dengue fever. C’mon…. if the mosquito carries dengue, then it will have high fever and die of dengue fever first. Also.. I smoke so much that I look like a walking fumigating machine.. no mosquito dare come near me…. Eheheheheh

Talk about smoking…. Recently Thailand had a new rule. No one is suppose to sell ciggies in public anymore. They can only sell them discreetly. So… if u need to buy smokes… u did have to walk into a shop and asked for it. They do not display it anymore. Its hidden. Still… I can live with this, much better the SG$10 (THB$250) ciggys in Singapore.

Cousin of mine came again and went back. Invited me to attend his wedding in October. Whats with this year??? So many people getting married. Already have 3 that I know in October alone. Spawning season??? Nay… didn’t go back for any of them at all. Too busy with work.

And.. its been raining and raining everyday. Gale wind darn fierce. Stay at home watching The Day After Tomorrow live outside my apartment. Wind blew rain skywards, visibility zero. More then 20 lightning per minute. Solid… never seen anything like this before. Then flood flood flood. Heard that in some parts of Thailand when it floods, crocodiles come to visit your house.

Rain means terrible traffic. Got stuck in the car park trying to get out of a shopping complex. 15 minutes and I turn my car into the nearest lot then continue to shop. Give up trying to get out. Interesting… can have heavy traffic jam in car park. Never knew that could happen.

Bought pirated games to play. Ass luck…. And should have expected. The instructions on how to run and crack the games… in THAI!!!. CB… can’t play game. Have to wait for someone to help me translate text.

Some Thai friends of mine went to Singapore over the weekend. When they returned… I asked how is Singapore. Reply was expensive-and-boring. Ehehehehe… I love Thailand.

Sway Sway Week

And so read in RK’s blog its mooncake festival again. I forgot when it is already… lost my darn Chinese roots. Saw mooncakes selling in Bangkok but did not see people playing lanterns. This is Thailand… Chinese although many, cultural practices little.

Its been a sway week. Returned from lunch to find my hard disk gasping for breath on Tuesday. It went tick… gluck gluck gluck… greeeeeeeeeee… tick tick… breeeeeeeeeeeeee.. gluck gluck followed by tons of error and blue screen plus a “ni nam bu CBY” loud loud contribution from me. Also in this same week… some asshole stole my beloved giant Zippo from my table. Why in the world would anyone want that I wonder??? Things has been missing from office lately. There is a thief… and we don’t know who. Lightning will strike him in broad day and his mother will be raped. Fug him.

Brought a new 80G drive. Now my Dell fat with space but I lost my data and my work. This is arse luck.

Saw the show Madagascar, it was good… it distressed me good for that short hour or so. The hippo with the bikini crab made me laugh until die.

And Ed… are u dead… ur blog so long never update.

As for Jacq…. Yeah…. Run Forest… Run…. Run until Jacq neh neh become payaya. Good luck with the name-your-mother thing too... hehe.

Skype Mum

.... My mum uses Skype..................... !

Car Tried to Swallow Me

If you open the boot of your car really fast and with all your might, the boot will re-bounce and come crashing down right onto your forehead just when you are about to bend over into the compartment to retrieve your things.

My car tried to eat me last Saturday night. It was raining I was in a hurry. Pain pain pain pain… now fuggin balukoo still on my forehead.

Bangkok Population Survey

The majority working force in Bangkok who can afford cars holds the occupational post of: Causing Major Traffic Jams. For the part-time work force in Bangkok, their main occupational post is: Causing Major Traffic Jams on Weekends and After Office Hours. The significant unemployed pool of people, freelances as: Contributor to Traffic on Roads Whenever. Bangkokians do not like to stay at home. They prefer to live their free time out in cars.

Article done based on research of Dr Kings, majored in IGotStuckInTheFugginJam,Again.

Live Screensaver

Yesterday morning.. reached office. Usual routine.. plug-in notebook turned on and had a smoke while waiting for system start up.

The first thing that appeared on my screen was not Windows. It was ants. Ants ants ants…. Everywhere ants… Ants came out from my keyboard. Ants came out from speaker socket. Ants from Ethernet socket, CD-ROM drive, the bloody PCMCIA slot.. So many small pesky tiny red ants. Every orifice of the notebook, you name it, it has ants. Ants on my screen. Can squish them and see juice all over my screen. Live screensaver.. can squish one… not bad not bad.

Ants decided to make nest in my notebook because overnight coffee mug left beside notebook is close food source.

I Wanna F*.* The World....

It was evening again… life is routine now. Most have left the office and I was still here yesterday, up in the roof. Life sucks when all around me are play but alone I stride on with work late into the night. Life sucks when my entire mind is set on work regardless of office hours but those around does not. I want to shout the F word loud but I am sure the vigilant security guard below will think I wanna jump of the roof and summon the black car.

Another new sunset I watch, another peaceful moment. It is short moments like these when I stare at nature’s painting that keeps the stress in my head from exploding.

Tranquility among Bangkok Stress

Every day if chance permits, I will take a walk right up to my office roof. My coffee, my ciggy and tranquility. In solitary, I seek silence within the bustle of working stress. The sun sets at 6.30pm. A new evening, a new painting.

Birds Use Tools

Hmmmm lets see. First of all… busy like F.

Pew, Charles, Kenny, Shin and their wives, wife to be, were all here over the weekend. Shop like some tourist they did trying to buy the whole Bangkok back to their new love nests. It was good to see them… have not laughed at silly singlish jokes for a long time. Felt darn good to see them again… an element of I-am-missing-something-from-home arise. Nowadays… encounters with good pals happen only within short burst of transient time. Next window to see them may be 3 months away. Miss them all.

Short Reports:

Saw someone with a pet Slow Loris. Didn’t know u can have them as pets. Its one of those nocturnal animals with eyes so big that if u hit its head from the back, its eyes will pop and roll onto the floor.

Mum on MSN says:

*-)AK(f)Mrs Fu*-) says: Loong, if you go to the sea, pls pls pls don't play the something flying in the sky, the one pulled by a boat, very dangerous

*-)AK(f)Mrs Fu*-) says: the wind will blow to other direction and make you get injured or killed. It happened to one of Uncle's friend recently in Thailand

*-)AK(f)Mrs Fu*-) says: no joke, ok?

First of all… no way I gonna play that. Imagine… kena bird strike… not very pleasant to have a flock of birds tattering your body into pieces. Also… fly so high… balls drop for sure. What if.. aeroplane run into u…. ok lah.. that won’t happen. But.. what if fly into swarm of hostile bees?

Then on Animal Planet… saw birds very smart. They use pointed sticks to poke into holes on trees. The stupid fat worm in the hole attacked the stick by biting. Then bird pull big fat white worm out.. and munch munch munch… didn’t know birds uses tools.

For the first time in my life… saw a durian like tortoise at some night market. Pew says that’s a Star Tortoise. It looks like half a durian and its brownish, spiky as hell, visually really dangerous. Throw tortoise on road sure can make car tyre flat. If u don’t like your friend, can strategically place tortoise on seat where his balls are predicted to land too.

Ate Japanese buffet lunch (Killer Oishi Grand at Siam Discovery Center)… THB650 SGD24+++. Better then Kushin whatever bowl back in SG. Eat eat eat… then saw Sharks FIN SOUP!!!!!!! That killed me. Then… WAHHHH COD FISH COD FISH!!!!! That really killed me. Tummy detonation.

Saw the movie Stealth. Darn good darn good.

Weekend Report

6am Saturday. Got stuck in lift. Wait in complete darkness pressed alarm bell. Wanted to smoke but no oxygen will die. So no smokes. Climbed out of lift when rescue team came. Total waiting time 20 minutes. Sway.

Krabi Weekend

Just came back. 4am reached Bangkok. Came to office straight for work.

Krabi had less people compared to the last time i went, less shops too. All the inside shops behind the front row shops, all gone.

However, delicious Krabi pancakes survived the Tsunami.

This season, waves too strong. Speed boat ride around the islands resulted in serious testicular trauma. Balls blue and black, much worse that what ah pew experienced the last time when his balls slamed flat againts the seat up in the front of boat.

Went around trekking this time round. Found some nice places.

Oh… and one other boat capsized because wave too big. All the ang mohs got thrown into water. Lucky I not on that boat. They rescued all of them. No one die.

Photos are here.

Krabi Paradise

Happy belated stinking propaganda national day F*.*ing Singapore!!! I wish u rot in Hell!

Ok… not all rot in hell lah…. hope all the friends I know there are well and fine. But… I still hate Singapore.

I got my permits… my visa, my everything. I am 1/2 Thai now. Life’s good. Yeah! Will be going Krabi find tsunami victim remains today evening. Yeah…. Crystal waters here I come.