Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Picking up Girls in Pubs

What's real and What's Not

When guys get together over drinks after a day's work, one topic that's sure to abound - girls. Hunting girls from nightspot nowadays in Thailand is a daunting task for my many single and young hot blooded male colleagues here. Firstly, we need to know how to distinguish girls from guys wanting to be girls.

You can't trust a face when you see one too. Double eyelids are created by strategically placed concealed sticker of some sort. Sometimes there's a glitch and we could spot them especially when a fly gets stuck up on their eyelids. And then there is the "big-eye" contact lens trend going on, makes their eyes so mesmerizing to look at. Talking to them staring into their eyes for extended time, you need your mates to bring you to a hypnotist the next day to put you out of your trance. To add to that, there is this thing we have seen too many on YouTube that not so pleasant looking girls can transform themselves into the ultimate desire of guys by heavy makeup. A good long time ago, when all the creative makeup techniques were not that widely practiced, all we needed to do was to bring the girls to the nearest Seven-Eleven. This is because all girls are pretty under the palette of colors and strobes in pubs and a well lit Seven-Eleven will reveal their true features. Nowadays, we need to bring them into the high-beams of our cars just to make sure. To be doubly sure, we need to push them into the pool. To have a hard guarantee revelation in case they use very resilient makeup, we need to tie them to shopping carts and send them into an extended automatic car wash. I have also heard the story of someone who was about to get married only to cancel the whole arrangement. One day, he visited the girl's home when she did not have her make up on, it was like he was about to marry his own mother.

Perfect ass to breast ratio is also difficult to determine at first glance. I attended a wedding with my girlfriend. Her friend of a few years was one of the bridesmaids. Wow, I never knew she have boobs. After the dinner, the bride invited the pack of bridesmaids to her room where they changed to their casual clothing. Looking at her after the change, she was back to her normal figure which I knew. I immediately asked jokingly, where did her breast go. She literally showed me her breasts in her hands, two large pink silicone padding. I wanted to keep them for souvenirs but my girlfriend objected strongly.

The daunting task now is even made more challenging with the popular cosmetic surgery that many Thai girls keenly put themselves under the knives for. One guy then mentioned in the midst of drinks that we can only tell the truth when our kids are born. "So how if our daughter do not genetically inherit the beauty of our cosmetically altered wife which we found out too late?" I asked. They all agreed to one conclusion, send our kids for cosmetic surgery.


Bestof2Worlds said...

Entertaining read Jewie and all so true as well. Made my day.

Jewie said...

Well... the more we drink, the stranger the topics will get... glad you enjoyed my experience sharing.. :)