Thai Wedding – Thai People Version

Fortunately, it does not call for waking up in ungodly hours of the morning as practiced by the Thai Chinese. Set in the village of wooden huts and broken pavements, this is the real Thai wedding of the real Thai people.


Like the Chinese version, they do tease the groom with simple sabotages such as making it difficult for him to enter the bride’s home to acquire his prize.



One odd thing about it is, they carry whole stalk of young banana trees to which I do not understand the significance of. Must be kampong thing. * And what about for Chinese then? What trees? Durian tree I tell you, all 50 feet of it full grown with branches leaves spiky fruits and all the curry pok ant colonies to be shoved through the door into the room filled with elderly relatives. Two trees, not one.



And of course, no event is Thai without alcohol. Most of the men already smell like midnight boozers in the pubs. For me, sunshine and booze don’t mix.


Like the Malay weddings in Singapore, a tent is set up to house the party goers, the food served simple in buffet style.


The sin-sod (dowry) of some THB$30,000 or more, the traditional practice of the Thai village. It was beautifully arrange in a concentric pattern of leaves with attention, the valuables, currency, gold and all placed on it. * What about the Chinese? What placed on the leaves then aye? Durian I tell you, a dozen of it freshly plucked from the shoved in tree. What about American marriages with the Thai family? What placed on the circular leaves? No leaves I tell you, just stack up family size pan pizza from Pizza Hut, Super Supreme, Hawaiian and all.


Pour the blessed water over the hands of the couple, done a countless times by friends relatives and neighbors. As I poured I mumbled blessings, wish them good life, money come, good baby and bright future. * So what about Chinese again, what is the corresponding part of this ritual? Everyone throw a thousand lighted firecrackers at the couple. Can also aim large fireworks at them to brightly light up their lives.


This, the Thai wedding, the way it had been and always will be. Resisting the weight of modernization, the tradition persists.

[* All reference made out of scope to other wedding cultures are fiction, do not practice. If insist, practice at your own risk. The writer of this blog shall not be responsible for any collateral damage caused by durians in doing so.]

Samet Ville Resort

Mention Thailand to anyone a few things will come straight to their minds. Girly bars, ladyboys and cheap branded goods – aka imitation. Now, imitation as I experienced in Thailand goes beyond that of just jeans shirts and other apparels.

The normal definition of Resort:

re.sort [noun] (r-zôrt)

1. An area where many people go for recreation, usually in remote and natural locations which allows people to stay over.

2. A frequently visited location with numerous activities for the customer to enjoy, good food, wine and all, where customers are diligently served and prioritize as number 1.

3. A top notched visited place for people to enjoy with luxurious accommodation, providing hotel equal services and a very good night’s sleep.

4. A place for people to re-charge their souls on weekends from their normally exhaustive working life.

The Thai definition of Resort:

Samet Ville re.sort [con] (ke-na-bluff-overprice r-zôrt)



1. An area where many people go for recreation, on Koh Samet beside the sea, THB$4k per nite. Equally expensive to some proven luxury hotels in Phuket and other parts of Samet.

2. A frequently visited place by Bangkokians for it is 2 1/2 hours away with limited activities for the customer to enjoy – no spa, average food at inflated prices, bring your own wine and in company of free mosquitoes, where customers (I) have been ignored countless times by the serving staff and customers (I) can wait 30 minutes for their order and 20 minutes for their bill.

3. A top notched visited place for people (I) to realize the luxurious accommodation seen on web is in fact just some smart photo shooting skills, providing the normal pump-pump hotel equal services and a very sleepless night in cheap mattress and thin cheap feeling blankets.

4. A place for people to torture their (I) souls on weekends from their normally exhaustive working life and to return to live doubly tired, feel being cheated and yet there is nothing they can do about their awful experiences. Especially true after complaining to the all ears reception staff who have nil experiences of dealing with customers’ (I’s) complain and had no strategy whatsoever tactics to soothe the customer.

References:


There will be no towels for your shower till you asked for it, in the middle of shower when you suddenly realized you have nothing to wipe your ass with. The towels when asked for, are yellow when delivered.


The dinner promised in the package with seafood and delicious Thai cuisine are but cold BBQ food and tiny boiled shrimps (10cm), dirty mussels (4cm) and a lousy bowl of Tom Yam soup (soup fortunately served hot, diameter 20cm).


There are many styles of accommodation to choose from. As to why one would go for THB$4k instead of THB$2k (2k still expensive) is that one would expect a more comfortable sleep. However, one would then realized 4k bungalows are units shabbily split in two my removing connecting doors and covering with a thin piece of plywood.


Resorts normally have crowd control with security guards on petrol to ensure a gentle environment in unity with nature. However here in Samet Ville RESORT, your neighbor could turn their units into a noisy gambling den. All the rowdiness can be heard clearly through plywood that one will realize does not entirely cover the opening. In the night once could peak at each other through the vertical opening at the corner of it. So, one can see neighbor’s girlfriend’s bosoms and compare shape and size to one’s girlfriend’s bosoms. Bear in mind that so can one’s neighbor do the same.

Since one’s resort’s neighbor is that does not have a civic mind for their thoughts had been drowned out by alcohol, one would then decide against confrontation and decide to drown oneself at the restaurant 11pm in the night ordering beer. Only then to realize the joint is closed and to be brushed aside by the unfriendly staff who will not make any exception in a effort to make one happy.

The closing time of the next door gambling den is then determined by one thus when patience runs out at about 2 am, by directly confronting the tattooed neighbor to ask his friends to keep quiet.


The morning hearty breakfast promised after a bad night of sleep is set in shadowy old plastic tables and chairs, with a singe bowl of foul porridge served.


As pictures above shown on the quality of materials in the room, these are low quality accommodations one would encounter in many parts of this Kingdom masquerading under the grand name of resort. Samet Ville Resort, an imitation resort one can give a miss to without regret, and one to regret if gone to.

The Thai Neighbor

I never knew what my friend advised could so be very true. Lesson learned is that before doing anything, ask Thai if can, ask a few of them if can. As I had previously wrote in my blog Buying a Condo in Bangkok, a Thai will buy condominiums only of above 4 million to be soaked in high-so if all possible. For one reason I encounter now, an inconsiderate neighbor who makes me smell like a walking “tam-sang” (zhe-cha in Hokkien) stall everyday. My clothes hang to dry, the fabrics they absorbed the smell, my perfume is now called “pad-pid” (friend chili) on some days and “ka-tiaum” (garlic) on others.

Many farmers in this vast kingdom inherited their land from the generations before. Being forever living with the ducks, geese and buffalos, opportunities comes once a while knocking on their hut. An offer to buy their piece, normally from the smarter Bangkokians who take advantage of the situation. Show a lump of cash to the uneducated country bump (under the value of land, maybe way under), bump never seen so much money before. Bump takes offer, and buys anything within reach in Bangkok. Bump changes lifestyle from low-so to high-so (compared to his neighbors) in an instant. Bump also bring big family of bumps and all sorts of up-country behaviors into our civilization. How to then maintain the lifestyle after, I don’t think they really care. Come first find work later, steal beg borrow whatever. Darn I hate this.

We live in condo, we live in commune. Any condo folk should know that when living in such close proximity, we must live with extra consideration for our neighbors. If you want to turn your house into your up-country shack where you cook up a storm every morning, then install a darn kitchen air purifier.

To all you folks out there who cook in condo, go HomePro buy that air purifier. To all you expat folks going to buy a condo in Bangkok, if have money buy THB$10 million condo. Don’t buy THB$1 million ones. As I write my blog now, he cooks at his balcony, my perfume today will be “nam-pla” (fish sauce).

Orphan It, A Convenient Technique

Yet another interesting encounter with the strangeness of this beautiful Kingdom, the beautiful people, the beautiful culture. Beautiful couples get together, made beautiful love and end up with beautiful kid. Unable to care for the kid within their beautifully busy working lives, they send the kid to the neighboring baby sitter in the beautiful countryside for the weekend. Then they beautifully disappear without returning. A beautiful plan indeed.

The aunty I met had taken the child in as one of her own. She did not want to send the kid away. The kind hearted gets taken advantaged of. The ugly people who hatched the beautiful plan profits. Beautiful Thailand, it happens everyday.

i Road Bully

I accidentally cut into her lane driving the long roads till brain dead without signaling in advanced. The big black Chevrolet pulled up beside me and signaled me to stop. I walked up to her window and she handed me a Buddhist sutra. The mid forties kind faced woman said, young man must heart cool cool, don’t drive with heart hot hot, dangerous, read Buddhist sutra, make heart cool cool, make good man. This, the most surprising road experience ever encountered, only in Thailand I suppose.

Why go the Mob?

On my work trips occasionally having casual talks with the factory people, now I know one reason why they go for mobs. The factory workers claimed if the prime minister was overthrown (he did), their participation in the mob was a success and they felt proud that they had did something for the country. Else, being just another local folk, what can they do to contribute to society? They were not paid they claimed. They just wanted to do something which resulted in something that’s all.

Dining on the Phuket Cliffs – Cheap

And again, why we should rent cars when on holiday destinations. I was on work, not on holiday. I was looking for a place to eat, the rental car I drove devouring the curves and slopes of Phuket. We stumbled on the E-San food shack up the hill. I had a choice, the concrete building with the fancy restaurant name that had the “welcome farang” feel, or the wooden shacks that looks like it will be blown down into the sea during heavy storm. I choose the later to discover the idyllic simple sitting arrangements hidden from view by the road. It was simple E-San food at slightly expensive price. THB$400 for three of us, as we savored our eyes did too. Just don’t drink here get high, will fall off the cliff for sure. The sunny sun, the shady tables. The view, the air, the sea. This is the life, this is my life.

10 Course Dinner Banquette Narai Hotel

And yet again I attended the Thai Chinese wedding dinner. As chaotic as ever, the function room of Narai hotel when it is not tradition to have seating arrangements and such pre planned. So, everybody was everywhere and our table had twelve because we wanted to be in a group and not with strangers.

What I really cannot stand about 10 Course Dinners here in Narai Hotel was they never change your side plate. I was Banquet a long time back, we had to change the plate every course. Food lovers will know that taste from different dishes should be savored in isolation without the juices form the previous affecting the taste of the current. But hell no in Narai. My request to the idiot faced waiter to change the plates of the entire table was conveniently ignored. By the 5th course, I swear the juices and debris on my plate was starting some form of chemical reaction and could either be turning into alcohol or attaining a life of its own. Welcome to Bangkok.

The Holes of Thai Roads

These are the things that make your wheel break away nicely in unpredictable direction. Road repair takes forever in Thailand and so, when driving on un-chartered roads you never been before, always watch out for the holes. Drive slow, or let the car behind take over and follow his pace at a distance. He could be more familiar then your irritatingly slow car. Watch him closely and if he goes airborne, brake hard. One fine day, I finally understood why their existence. I saw cows drinking from these water filled holes after the rain.

The Naga Fireballs

From various sources on the internet:

The Naga fireballs are a phenomenon seen in the Mekong river - in Thailand (Nong Khai province and Isan) and in Laos - in which glowing balls rise from depths. The balls are reddish in colour and about the size of an egg; they rise a couple of hundred meters before disappearing. The number of fireballs is variable, being reported at between tens and thousands per night.

The fireballs have been seen for centuries and are most often reported around the night of Wan Awk Pansa - the end of the Buddhist rains retreat - in October, although displays have also been reported in March, April, May, June and September. It is speculated by Scientist that during particular periods of the year, the full moon will cause methane to be released from the sediments in the river. This rising methane gas upon emerging out form the water then ignites when mixed with the atmosphere resulting in the fireballs witnessed by the public. Mythological beliefs interpret these fireballs as steps for the Buddha to descend from the heavens.

Hmmmm .. very intriguing. I think this October on a full moon night, I will fart in the swimming pool in an attempt to replicate the phenomenon. I want to see if my fart turns into fireball or not. If not I will just make a lot of farting gaseous balls and maybe, just maybe, a passing owl will descend (fall dead) from the sky.

Internet Services in Thailand

Whatever you do, don’t sign up with TOT. TOT is the mafia of telecommunications. They dominate the country with their sub standard and more then expensive Internet services. I would love to have gone with True, faster lines at cheaper price. But unfortunately, their lines do not reach the area which I stayed. This is not like Singapore, wherever you stay you have a choice of all providers, thanks to the first-class nationwide infrastructure superior in all ways to that of backwards Thailand.

The killer tear in your balls is when you pay your bills late. There is simply no way in which you can re-activate your services except to visit their elusive and difficult to locate main offices. If only this was True, their branches would be all over Bangkok and you could just walk in and clear you issues. TOT is as hard as a stubborn piece of shit hardened in the sun. They cannot re-activate your line, or to have your late payment invoiced in the next upcoming bill. They simply cut your lines and say “no-pay-no-line-sorry-na-ka”. As busy businessmen traveling lots and mostly not home to pay your bills on time, TOT kills you.

And so we have the avenue to go to their web, TOT e-Services they so proudly painted all over their homepage. Then the frustration begins, when the English locale you had chosen keeps switching back to the gibberish Thai characters. I cannot read Thai. And so when you try to pay your unpaid bills online, you will then learn the stubborn hard shit rules applies. The bill is shown, but the payment cannot be made, because you are late! Why in the world did they call it e-Services when it is filled with such a considerable piece of inconvenience? I tell you why. Because it is TOT.

And so I though out of the box, and tried to use their Request-For-Invoice service, hoping the bills will be reset and a new bill sent, so that I can go to the ATM and make the payments. The web site then switched to Thai, and when I clicked on English I was presented with scripting errors. For the love of Buddha, you are a leader in telecommunications and IT, and yet you have crap programmers that never check the web services thoroughly. I tell you why again. Because it is TOT.

TOT, go screw yourselves in the ass the whole lot of you, customer services and all.

Hot Springs Beach Resort

I was in paradise, The Hot Spring Resort in Phang Nga. A lesser known paradise north of Phuket but still, stunning beaches and tranquility. The Tsunami of 2004 had devastated her, but she was quickly rebuilt and restored to her former glory. It was not easy to get to this heaven as she was nested deep within the unknown roads of Phang Nga. A destination popular with the Asian crowd I was told, as she was mostly promoted in countries like Japan, Taiwan and China. The Thai holiday makers were scarce in this hidden jewel of idyllic serenity. It is the only resort that has her own natural hot springs, a destination to break stress and detune your busy life to the pace of slow waters gently flowing as run offs by the side of the emerald pool.


It was the mob season and so we read that many tourists had cancelled their travel plans Most of the hotels in this region and others suffered a huge dip in business. To me, it meant having the whole resort almost to ourselves. A normally packed weekend with only 4 bookings. A normally packed season with less then 10% occupancy rate. How else was I able to take those pictures with so little people in it? The normal buffet breakfast had to be turned a la cart style. The restaurant by the beach was closed for economic reasons. It was peace to our benefit. I see it as a small stroke of luck. The loud chats and proud talks of Chinamen were absent.


Almost all resorts in Thailand will exhibit their own special spa courses. The experiences vary and I would call them a good con for most. These so-called spas normally can be interpreted as ultra expensive massages fifteen times the price of a good two hour rub in the normal massage parlous of Bangkok, at a quarter of the expected skill set. But here, I finally found the difference. We had thirty minutes to ourselves in the hot therapeutic pool, bits and pieces of aromatic drifty bits in the water. With our energy sapped out by the warmth and our spirit drowsed down into a lethargic cloud of drowsy soul, we laid on the massage beds and enjoyed one and half hours of exceptional rubs, twist and squeezes. It was poles apart form the con type spas I had in the other so called resorts. You just gotta try it. The sleep on the night of the spa felt like I had never slept in years. The morning after the energy I had was fresh like the first rays of sun. Superb.


The jetty that led to the promised beach was there. The beach that was supposed to be was not. The jetty ended abruptly and so we asked. The season had been strange after the tsunami years. The storms had been odd. They washed the sands away overnight, the beach that once was had gone. But on some good seasons the sands accumulate, and the promised beach was there. A grand wedding party was recently held, the newly weds walked the sands that were present. The owner had wanted to show me the photos just to convince me there really was a beach.


It was a bad season, it was bad business. It was Thais killing their own business which was yet another trait of never thinking of consequences. As you work with Thais you will know by majority count that they have the inherent attribute of short foresight. This season the mannerism exhibited on a grand scale. This is why we have mostly foreigners filling critical positions in most companies. We try our best to pass down the proficiency of envision. I am teaching, they are learning, but however most are not. It was a great holiday nevertheless.









Full photo set at cllim.com under Phang Nga Sep 2008.

TT Money Thai to Singapore

Yet another case I will write about on one of the numerous extra pointless manners in which foreigners like us are exclusively handled in Thailand. In this modern era where customer satisfaction is priority of all practices, banks in Thailand had taken that extra step back just to make matters more challenging for us. I had been occasionally transferring my money to Singapore just so as to pay my card bills. Reason being it is almost impossible for foreigners to enjoy the privilege of credit cards issued in this cumbersome Kingdom. I can live with that.

Just then, as I just tried to do the TT, in addition to showing my passport, I was asked to show my employment letter, my work permit and my pay slip! The volcano in me erupted and I fired away to demand an explanation. Banker informed me that this is a new regulation for Thailand is in fear that we foreigners are transferring the Kingdom’s money out disrupting the economy. We need to proof we are drawing legal salary and it is this legal salary that we are transferring out. Hello! Does my face looks square and is my sir name Shinawatra?? I explained that the target account is in my own name. It is my own money for my own use. It was a fruitless argument as the buffalo rules must be adhered to.

Great! Life in Thailand has now up a notch in ludicrousity. Remember to have all those document guys, the next time you want to TT. I almost wanted to shout in Hokkien very loud: K.N.N.B.C.C.B.

Eating in Phuket, I found Rawai

So where do we eat in Phuket? As tourist, we stay in Patong we eat in Patong. We stay in Kata, we eat in Kata. And all those eatery almost always have their prices blown out of proportion for they are tuned to the pockets of the farangs. Could we then really get the local food there? No. All the restaurants had been made up-scaled and even the Thai food are just that little bit adjusted to the taste of the farangs.


Here’s a tip, firstly, on tour, must rent car. No car, no real holiday. We drove around the island, found this Rawai beach (southern tip of Phuket). Been to Phuket so many times and never knew this beach existed. Affordable looking eating joints were a plenty overlooking the sea. I knew it was local when I saw Thais on every table. Thais naturally are Thais and knows where to spend their money. They will not usually eat in restaurants targeting farangs. One of the strange highlights of Rawai was that, on most tables, I saw there were a farang or two, eating in the company of a number of “sexy” girls. I guess that’s where Phuket “girlfriends” brings tourist “boyfriends” to when asked for “bring me some place local, I hungry” after the night of “I love you honey, sick at home my mommy, give me some money”.

The food was really local I could tell, as I found out that their Tom Yam soup really tasted very different from that in Bangkok. They put in a different kind of spice, and all the taste I was so used to for the regular dishes I ordered, just tasted that slightly different. Whatever you order, don’t go for the Seabass (Pla Kapong), it tasted muddy. I assumed they do not have sea farmed Seabass and instead catch them from the local mangroves. It was the worst fish I ever ate in years.

And whatever different spices the southern kingdom used, it made me able to kill the nearby dog just by farting. It is interesting to note, Thailand is so big, food in each region have their own localized flavors, name of dish the same. Kill radius of fart differs.

What u can get for SGD$ 3.2 Million

Two of these in one big plot of land (outside Bangkok). One for your brother and one for yourself.



Your very own resort style outdoor dining area by the pond.


Your very own little bridge across your personal pond.


And a whole assortment of water features.

Thailand, where a Singaporean’s dream comes true. Ofcoz.. its not mine. But imagine if you have a 4 million property in Singapore, one of those small properties in an upscale district. Sell all out, bring your money here and you could build your own castle.

Thai No Speak English

Yet another frustrating day almost vomiting blood just interacting in simple conversation with an insurance based car workshop. Called up the workshop and they asked what insurance company am I covered under. Naturally not being able to read the Thai company name, I answered the company name in English. They say no they don’t deal with me because they do not cover this company that I spoke. And so frustratingly we argued over the phone till I had to be physically there to show them my insurance slip and the imbeciles then recognized my claim.

And so the following day after I sent in my car, they called me and requested me to fax the driving license to them. And so I asked in Thai who to “attention” to, with the word attention in English as I do not know that word in Thai. The other end kept quite.. and repeated the fax number. After I asked them two more times who to attention to, they cut my line.

Yes, Thailand, no speaking English. And if they don’t understand you, instead of trying to understand, they cut your line and hope to leave you to another operator to handle you on your already furious state. The daily frustrations we foreigners encounter till tear balls point. No matter it be talking about getting that cable for your home, the bill payments for your mobile, the ordering of KFC even, we tear our crouch each time we try to hold a simple conversation with the Thais. We tried our best picked up their language, they tried their best to just cut us off.

Traffic Lights of Thailand

Again another example of – it is assumed that all foreigners have some extraordinary abilities to somehow read Thai. What the sign says? Turn left on green? Wait for green to turn left? Cannot turn left? The turn left light is on the floor? What??? Something quite sure is, turn left blur blur and pay the police. The police will tell you the answer.

Ok.. I share.. signs like these means, wait for green to turn left. If this sign is not present, I think you can turn left without waiting. Or, turn left right center u-turn anyway at any junction you want, traffic rules don’t really exist here.

The Swarm Bangkok

It was unruly. The traffic all built up causing a massive jam. It took forever for me to make that u-turn. It was just 10 am on a Sunday morning but already the traffic was crazy. It was abnormal. People came by the thousands, the walkways all crammed up. It was utter disorder. People who are tried sat on the floor, everywhere. Shouting, loud talking, turmoil, confusion, madness. Mob.. demonstration on the streets, anti-government movements?

No. it was The13th Discovery Thailand & Discovery World 2008. Yah… and Bangkok was supposed to be in disarray. Bangkok was supposed to be dangerous, all tourism business affected as reported in the news. But the crowds were still snapping up the good offers in the so many luxurious resorts across the Kingdom. Who’s missing out? Only the foreigners.

On a weekend in Singapore we can only have a good ridiculously expensive five or so resorts to spend a good night away from home. I… bored like f forever. On a weekend in Thailand, I have more then EIGHT HUNDRED resorts that I can choose to drive to and spend a good cheap night away from home. I… holiday forever.


Ridiculous jam early in the morning 10 am, people all loaded to spend their money.


Worst inside where it was extremely crowded.

Yellow Color Red Color

This is funny…. from The Nation newspapers, 3rd Sept 2008.

As more protesters poured into Government House, where music continued to play and defiant speakers continued to address vociferous crowds, the state of emergency declared by Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej Tuesday morning seemed to have serious effects on only one person - himself.

So, the chaos had been on going for several days. In Thailand, there seems to be a color for everything. Now, anti-government protesters wear yellow, and the pro-government wears red. Guess it would not be a good time to be in your yellow or red outfits. Then how? Paint your face half yellow half red like the football fans. Wear half yellow or half red shirts, or shirts with both yellow and red horizontal stripes. Red underwear and yellow shoes. Bra left side yellow and right side red. Oh yeah and walk the streets to exhibit your neutral thoughts. Either way, either color or multi color, you still did be hit by a brick, set on fire or whacked by sticks. It seems this situation is for the disgruntled Thais to release their stress through violence. When I watched the news and saw the beatings, I simply cannot understand how the crowd decipher the guy in black was on which side. They just whacked and whacked and whacked some more.

Violent behavior, chaos and such, my Malaysian customers on long term work stint had taken their emergency trip back home. Scared again by the reports, but live still goes on for the rest of the country. The violence is localized but the imagination drove the fear. In my office, no one really seems to be worried by the situation. In the shopping center where I eat, everyone is still smiling. And so, why worry?

The union here is powerful, the utilities sector decided to go on “organized leave”. They tend to cut the power and the water, to pressure the prime minister to quit. They seemed tuned to the anti side, and show they will when needed. In retrospect I looked, our NTUC taxi drivers. Disgruntled unhappy and such, their long political talks when you ride. They complained for decades and action none. Such is life in Singapore for such is the way it has to be. It’s good, it’s bad, it’s the way it is enforced to be.

Bangkok Dangerous?

Thailand is the only country where the prime ministers have uncanny facial similarities to characters from Nickelodeon and what not. Thaksin, one look and you think of SpongeBob. Next you would expect his associates to look like Patrick. Lucky, no one had a face like a star. And so Thaksin was overthrown by the military coup and there was no one for a while. And then Thai elected a new prime minister. If for some reason this new Samak were to be in a farm holding a huge steel fork, I bet he look like something out from Journey to the West. Best still if a monk happen to be nearby.

Thailand in Chaos? The news you saw on CNN and papers, oh yes, the mob wants to over throw the prime minister, the police engaged the mob. Injuries and bloodshed a few when the police tried to control the crowd. And then the mob blamed the police for using violence. And so the mob moved in on the police headquarters and demanded the policemen who injured the crowd. All hell broke loose because the mob not happy, the mob grew in size and sprouted up in the other provinces. Then someone with a big idea decided to position the mobs on the runway, forced themselves into the airports they did. They wanted to hit the landing aeroplane's wheel with their face. So Krabi, Hat Yai and Phuket airports closed. Yes, it was true… it was so chaotic, it was a mess. There were the opposing parties, and then the supporting parties. Let them mingle move them close to each other. Let them pacify neutralize or equalize by violence, so the police would not be blamed for causing more injuries. Watch the show from the side lah, then pick up the aftermath without a sweat.

With all the news reported of violence, everyone is in danger. Oh really? So strange that people were still going to pubs, disco and clubs. We all still live everyday as it is. It was the month’s end, salary was out. Thais were still getting drunk on the past weekend, still going for their pop-pop sessions, still going for the karaoke. Chaos? Oh really?

In the tiny Singapore lives we live, we have never encountered a mob. And so we thought the mob equals to the country breaking down. And really it is not so. The news shows and focus, to show only what they wanted to show. If the camera was to turn a 180, you will get to see the traffic still going on slow, the peddlers still are selling and the karaoke girls still are working. The restaurants will all still pack, the holiday resorts on weekends will still full.

Visiting the Clinic - Bangkok

What to do when you are sick in Thailand? Visit a doctor, get an MC (medical certificate), stay at home? Well sort of. The very first strange thing is that, no need MC to show your employer. In Thailand, every employee is entitled to x amount of sick leave. Some companies however will require you to show your MC if you happen to fall sick on a Friday or Monday. So if you don't feel like going to work, just call in sick with a silly excuse. The privilege of a Thai employee.

The doctors. Now, generally, it is quite expensive to visit the doc. Again depends on where you go. In Singapore, we just visit our family clinic and we pay about SGD$30. Here you could too, visit your typical local clinic but be prescribed with Thai medical instructions, explained in Thai and get yourself overdose for taking the wrong number of tablets from misunderstanding.

We each pay what is know as social insurance or something, automatically deducted from our salary. So we each have this social insurance paper slip that we can use to visit the doctor for free or subsidized. Some companies have more employee benefits and enroll their employees with big name insurances like AIA for medical benefits. The difference between the two if you use them when you go to a reputable hospital or clinic is that, you get double standard medication. The medication that you get when using your normal social insurance benefits are of lower grades. Use the AIA one which covers a higher budget and you get the better medication. So, what if you don’t use both and pay by yourself? You get the best. I did that (actually it was because I did not have my insurance thingy with me).

I went to Param 9 Hospital, yes… a hospital. The moment I registered and they realized I was a sick foreigner in their so strange land, they gave me the utmost of treatment. I was ushered here and there, gently and politely guided, smiles and smiles, the way Thailand should really be. I was so happy I could even forget I was sick.


The doctor spoke in English and best of all the medication had English directions written on them. Yeah, pay more get better treatment, in all it cost THB$1300 (SGD$52) but hey, it was worth it.

Normally I did complain heaps when dealing with related customer services in this land and such. But this was one of those times that I was really impressed in the way I was handled. So if you are sick and don’t want to further aggravate your situation, go to the big name hospitals to find their GP. Your are going to be glad.


Look, even the antibiotic they gave was special.. size XL.

Eco Tour Amphur Wa

Eco Tourism, a trendy word. Any kampong hut that’s on swampy land can be made into an Eco destination. Sleep in the mangroves and enjoy the mosquito bites. Be in nature, donate your blood. Eco tourism, a trend. Seems like many Thais now that have really beaten down homes in their provinces can turn their place into a tourist attraction. They could cost as much as THB$1,000 per night, food inclusive (if you ever could eat them E-san food).


Recently I was in Amphur Wa (correct spelling is unknown, in Thailand, there are 200 different ways of spelling the same destination in English). This district of the Samut god knows what province is located just 1 ½ hours drive away. She is famous for her floating market, shellfish flats and Eco Tourism.


The huts on stilts, next to the river, in the night the water level raises. You can half expect the crocodiles to come by and tear your leg off while you are sleeping.


Sleep in the nettings, the defensive against the mossies.


The monks nearby worked their gardens, the morning air was fresh. And then the pack of dogs came and barked, and chased me away to Holland.


Plant a young mangrove tree, the highlight of the Eco Tourism activity, things that you do to save the planet. Suffered so many cuts the people who went in the mud, the hidden shells sharp like razors. Did I do my part to save the planet? I stayed on the boat.


Reach deep in grab the cockles, on plywood like surfboards they maneuvered. I stayed on the boat. I don’t eat cockles.


And we visited the home grown business, of palm sugar the owner operated. The weather was sticky, there was no single element of luxury. When I bathed the water stopped flowing, my head was still then a mushroom of shampoo. As the night approached I died of boredom, just what the heck we could do in the mangroves? So there was a trip, we rode along the river. The thousand fireflies glowed in a dance of mystic synchronism, I awed, we all did. Shall I go back again Eco Tour? Please no unless it is on an island, with 4 star and above accommodations.

Full photos here under Amphur Wa.

A Consolidation of Thoughts

These recent trips consolidated amounts to the longest period I had been out of Thailand. To Singapore, to KL, to JB and to and to re-live the small world where once I lived, oh my tiny life in Singapore.

Changi airport. Everything fingerprint scanner now. The aunty in front of me caused the queue built up in the auto-check lane so funny. Her print was not read, the machine instructed her to remove her thumb. She raised her thumb above her head. And she tried again. And again. And again. And she as she went she spoke out loud “Aye… why cannot leh… ??”. She repeatedly raised her thumb up above her head, down to the scanner, and up above again. Harlo!!! Remove thumb only lah!! No need to so big action lah! Stupid! Technology had moved too fast for the population, the older generation could not catch up.

The next time you do the scanner thingy, watch the glass plate. See the smeared merger of finger prints left behind. Then think of the myriad of bacteria left behind by so many individuals. Then think of the many contact diseases. Think of the prior actions of the individual up front. Think, get eeks. When will we all wake up? This ain’t such a good idea after all.

And me and my Thai engineer was at my lone grandma’s house to drop a luggage. As we left he commented, “Why is my grandma at home everyday, what does she do, she lives like a rat in her cage called home”. And he was right. Everyday that I was there, as I left for work I saw too, the opposite neighbors, the old woman and her old man, just sitting, staring and waiting. We are Singapore, we are Singapore we have no nature in store. When we are old we just wait to depart. That’s life. In Thailand your old folks could wonder and fall on patchy grass. In Singapore your old folks tumble down the HDB and break into pieces. We are the children of the concrete jungles.

We arrived in the Malaysia hotel. Someone had to tell one of my Thai engineers the green arrow sticker up on the ceiling points to the direction of prayer for Muslims, not the direction of the wireless LAN.

And food in Singapore, as usual excruciatingly expensive at the diners. Dining with the slightest bit of style burns THB$2,000 for two, while I can do that for just about THB$500 here in my paradise. My life in the reasonable land, the Singapore life there I can no longer afford.

The number of foreign work force had increased. The Chinamen had taken the common jobs. I see no future for the uneducated population, your rice bowl taken by the immigrants. Younglings, study get rich be quick, or be left in the voids of the society haven. The invasion starts first with night clubs, the trap for gullible Singaporeans. And now they moved to the hawkers. They control the basic low down pillars, the needs of our small word living. And soon we will find them an integral part, an irremovable part of our nation. Sit back relax and watch the culture change, a turn for the worse I reckon.


At the taxi stand there I waited. No smoking in any queue or risk the fine. I saw the opposing teens, they spoke and smoke bellows from their breath. I saw the people down the queue. Smoke bellows, them smoking. Daring bunch I say, you are the future of this country. Daring to exhibit your free will, in the country of countless restrictions. I call them “Daring to be me”. Not me as in me the blogger, but daring to be oneself, to exercises the freedom of actions, to be what one wants to be, to do what one wants to do. To be an individual and not the common. Hey wait a moment, think back and I wonder. Were they all Singaporeans or some were the immigrants? I not sure and I don’t give a damn. For I am here soaring in my dreams, the live I left, I forsaken.

Air Asia Very Smelly

It had been sometime since I took the budget airlines. And now there are baggage charges and a ridiculous option for express boarding (no need queue), all of which had to be paid for. I can live with those.

Now, I sat in the small plane two hours and it smelt like there were urinals that had not been washed for three days installed in the cabin. Does budget airline means no frills till the point where sewage processing is thus not a necessity when the plane makes its stop? Oh jolly smelly shit.


And what’s new is also the cheapo looking menu “Snack Attack”. Oh so much joy looking at the menu, the only reading material available other then reading the fine prints on the puke bags.

Budget. The paint on the airplane was peeling. I saw them clear when boarding. I was half expecting the metal skin to peel away from the wings while in flight. Of course.. that did not happen for I won’t be here to blog.

Landed in Changi Airport and all passengers were so specially welcomed by the unexpected cordoning of our arrival gate. All the police guiding us like criminals for this extra security check, such a warm surprising welcome for all us folks, tourist and businessmen on Singapore’s National Day. To tell the world that Singapore likes to harass our visitors on arrival, they put us on the glorious pedestal to be scanned by the strange unfriendly beeping device, looking under our shirts to see the metal belt bucket. And they x-rayed and they opened the Indiaman’s bag, to remove the computer power cord out. I wonder, the Indian wonder if the police wonder it to be a cobra for the snake dance performance, the Indiaman’s show. I have but two Hokkien words for this encounter for all on arrival – gey gan (extra fuck).

Professional Traffic Bangkok

Bangkok traffic handling, very professional. During peak hours, many parts of roads will be so jammed up. The traffic police in this amazing city of angles have their own very amusing ways to solve the traffic lock ups.

It normally takes me 20 minutes to successfully make a u-turn in the heavy evening traffic back home. The queues of cars are long as each inch daringly with balls of steel into the oncoming traffic the other side of road. This particular u-turn causes massive traffic built up all the time. And the police came up with a very good idea that eliminated the jam. With their professional planning derived from their excellent clever brains, they barricaded this u-turn during the peak hours. With three of them there waving the traffic on, we each drove angrily by.

So the next u-turn is down the road and all cars had to make their turns there. Well, since the u-turn there then caused a massive build up next, the police then with their professional planning derived from their excellent clever brains, barricaded that u-turn during the peak hours. With three of them there waving the traffic on, we each drove angrily by.

So we had to go further down to the traffic junction and turn right to an alternative route. And since that right turn then caused a massive build up next, the police then with their professional planning derived from their excellent clever brains, barricaded the right turn during the peak hours. With three of them there waving the traffic on, we each drove angrily by.

So we can only go straight on to the next junction to make a left to an alternative route that can bring us back to the first u-turn point which was where we originally wanted to be in the first place after going on for an extra 5 kilometers that took close to 30 minutes burning our precious fuel contributing to global carbon built up which Thailand don’t give a dam about since the politicians are happy making money from fuel taxes and such so that they have extra pocket money to go for their weekly massage escapades. But since that left turn then caused a massive build up next, the police then with their professional planning derived from their excellent clever brains, barricaded the left turn during the peak hours. With three of them there waving the traffic on, we each drove fumingly by.

And so… we all want to drive our cars into the policemen who barricade the junctions, the peaks hours of the evening we want to go home. We want to ram them down and have their big balls cut off, and squeeze them tightly into their ears, into their so empty brain cavity until the brain juice leak from their nose. Oh Bangkok, you are so darn amazing.

The Chaophraya Cruise

Finally, I was on board the infamous river cruise so well talked about by the tourist. Cost about SGD$32.00 per pax. We got it at SGD$24.00 during a recent travel fair. To get your tickets, normally would be to call up the hotels along the river side where these cruises are offered. And they range many. From the really expensive ones offered by Shangri-la to the really “low-so” ones by what looks like above average “hotel-fun-fun”. That’s the one I went… “cruise-fun-fun” by the “hotel-fun-fun”. The food was terrible.


Steak was cold, overcooked and somehow powdery. None of that BBQ charred fatty bits giving that unique taste to a good steak, more evidence you can never find good western steaks here in Thailand.

The Thai spread was limited and even the Thais complained it was worst then eating from the lousy street side stalls set up by the unlicensed hawkers. It was terrible. They made even the simplest BBQ river prawns taste bad. They were small and tasted like they had died three months ago but kept in the freezer.


DIY coffee tasted like it had baby cockroaches brewed with definitely not Arabica.


Chunks of cheap looking ice blocks, otherwise known as ice-creams.


The deco of decades old, like that of an old 70’s dining hall. They had a live band and the only things worth looking at were the dancers. The uncles drunk went up to them and they all danced together. Must give tips. Reminds me of bad karaoke clubs in the distance provinces.

And I had to be in the worst place to die if the ship hit a barge, I had to do the big business in their confined toilet, surprisingly, I have to give credit to this. The toilet was clean.


Well, I guess the objective was not to enjoy the bad 15 minutes of buffet accompanied by Pepsi overdosed with too much carbonated water losing its taste. We spent the next 2 hours or so up on the deck enjoying the breeze. And we scrutinized the couples so many, the old men with their young karaoke girls on their Sundays off.

Moral of story. Pay peanuts get monkey. Go for the expensive cruise if I have to. Next time.

Thai Aerobics

The birds chirp away, the morning breeze blowing gently. A bunch of ah gongs and ah mahs in the vacant lot below the block going…. “fuuuuuuuuuuu siiiiiiiiiiiiiii fuuuuuuuuuuu siiiiiiiiiiiiiii”. Typical Tai Chi exercise in Singapore. If you stare long enough, you may just witness one or two of them dropping dead as their hearts stop. And what do we have in Thailand. Its evening about 5pm. Middle age aunties dancing to techno music anywhere there is vacant land where a stage can be set up. The feminine man aerobics instructor dancing vigorously to the beats, the aunties all hoping they had brought better sports bras.

The Pet Clinic

Surprisingly, if you can read Thai, there are so many vets you can find in Thailand just driving around compared to the number of them in Singapore. Clinics and vets share the same common green gross sign so it can be quite a challenge to find one if you don’t read the language of smiles. If you have a dog or a cat (common pets) then every what looks like a vet will be able to treat them. If you have exotic pets, such as lizards, birds or the weird rabbit I own, then going to find a vet becomes an adventure. The wordings out front the vet states what animals they treat, the brain of mine was however unable to make out what is written. Your beloved pet may accidentally undergo a sex change operation, the abundance of gender change clinics here, the same green cross and words in Thai I don’t understand.

Thais are never on time. So fitting a plan to the vet in your tight working schedule will definitely be blown apart. So take half a day off. He came an hour late, and stared at rabbit thinking it was a small dog. I doubt the certificate hanging on the wall. I don’t read Thai. It could have been qualification for balls massage issued by some Temple of Kamasutra. He grappled with my rabbit and of course rabbit panicked. My rabbit was lovely, it ran towards my belly jutting over the low table top. Rabbit attempted to scale my body but sick without energy he stood and cling. I embraced my rabbit to soothe his panic, still he stood and grip on my tummy.

One rectal thermometer probe, two jabs and saline or whatever intravenous drip of a minute it took. Rabbit had a fever the doctor said. 3 days of visiting and now my rabbit is back to almost normal but developed a strange appetite rejecting the pellets he so liked. I will have to change his diet. The visit didn’t cost much, about SGD$14 per trip. You can get the doc’s number, call him for a house visit if in emergency. Vets for dogs and cats are easy to locate. Vets for rabbits and exotic pets are not. My vet is not a rabbit specialist. The medication I took home labeled it’s for dogs.

Dear vet, my rabbit is not a small dog.