Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Father’s Day Thailand

Today is “wa-si-lin-lao-beh” day in Thailand and it’s a pubic.. public holiday. So what do most of the Thais do then? Nothing…. Absolutely nothing. Because their father had most probably ran away with the other women.

Well since it is winter now, these beer gardens have been sprouting up everywhere like some kind of seasonal flora. They only grow in the months form November till January wherever there are empty plots of land. They will be gone with the onset of summer but will return faithfully next season. On the night before Father’s day, these gardens are full of people.

And why not head to the pub on the eve of a holiday since it is just the beginning of the month and pockets are full of salary? Better to spend the money now then to keep and keep for what as the Thais have always said. But I hated the pubs as usual and since it was an “office” gathering, I had to patronize.

Fuck you Thai Pubs with all your lousy hip hop songs. I endured 3 hours yesterday. They had live band, badly mixed hip-hops and songs with squeaky vocals. Squeaky songs - ever step on a bird? Well that’s how it sounded like.

However, the girls were as usual pretty and sweet. And here’s how it works. Have to do some Math here. If you are a pubber, you jolly well know that it is quite common to be hit on occasionally and there after… bang-bang.

In the typical arena of a Singapore pub, 1 in 10 girls will be good to look at (lets call them SYT – sweet young things). When you score, there is a 90% chance she is not in your SYT level, unless you are deadly drunk or on some heavy medication. Multiply that by the order of chaos, 1 in 4 pub trips (Singapore’s theory) you score, your chances of success becomes (1 / 4) * (1 / 10) = 0.025 * 100 = 2.5% hit rate.

In the typical arena of a Thai pub, 6 in 10 girls will be SYT. When you score, there is a 60% chance she is in your SYT level. Multiply that by the order of chaos, 1 in 2 pub trips (Thailand’s theory) you score, your chances of success becomes (1 / 2) * (6 / 10) = 0.3 * 100 = 30% hit rate.

In Thai, your typical hit rate is 30 / 2.5 = 12 times better that in Singapore. Note, this calculation is based on typical local pubs.

If you are Asian and in one of the city pubs, your hit rate will be severely condensed to near negative values. These pubs are infected with Sarong Party Girls.

Calculation does not work in Patpong, Phuket and Pattaya pubs because your hit rate will be severely inflated to near 100% values. It’s a different breed of girls in these areas.

So how does the average diminutive SYT make her move? Very daring compared to Singapore I would say. Lets not get into details but the base algorithm here would be, they initiate some body contact, you response.


Anonymous said...

You are too conservative in your hit rate estimates for Thailand pubs, unless your calculation is about the localS being hit by SYT.

Foreigners score are higher be it Chinese Farang or others, even the conversation are in smuttering Thai lingo by the foreigners, these SYT still endears onto us (the foreigner). And that is a hit to the hotel/thai version motel.

Too bad, I am no fan of SYT in SGP or vice versa, wouldn't want my photo to take up the next empty photo space after her diagram on the 5C's.

Thailand Pubs, ROCK!

Jewie said...

I love the crowd but i really can't stand the music.