Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Career can Kill

It is the “Xing Pee” period, meaning New Year period now. Most Thais take this long weekend opportunity to go back to their provincial homes to be with their pet buffalos. Friday to Tuesday, made up of New Year, two company off days and the two weekend days. I looked out my balcony on midnight yesterday, I had a 180 degree view of overwhelming fireworks on all parts of the entire Bangkok-scape. It was festive, or was it not?

Xing Pee is a happy period of utmost joy. But Thailand, anything can happen, not always a safe and orderly haven, drama happens. The tranquility of Thailand’s deceiving beachscape has taken another toll. In the waters just this Sunday of Hua Hin lurks death, always waiting, always watching and always attempting on the unattended child. The waters churned and clawed the little boy of twleve into belly of the sea (Thais refer to the many troughs in the unsuspecting beaches as bellies of the sea). My gig and her whole family of relatives went from a mood of delight to pure despair. They shouted, they searched. The farangs came, the volunteers came. The water was beefy. All it takes is three minutes for the human brain to die without oxygen. All it took was one instant for a child to be swept away. All it took was fifteen minutes to see the eerie body of what used to be a lively boy washed up on shore faced down. Gig bought her cousin his last pack of milk from Seven Eleven just in the earlier part of the morning. CPR was performed by a passing nurse on her annual holiday. Blood and food flowed out of the lifeless mouth. Fifteen minutes, just a short quarter of an hour, all is gone. His parents had no money. All the relatives chipped in for the attempted rescue and hospital fees of near to 10k Baht. His heart gave up in intensive care. The wailings only grew louder.

Xing Pee, where everyone is suppose to be enjoying, not me. The sunset above on New Years eve, my sunset. I am the expert of CCS in the Substations and Power Plants. I am the all mighty software that unites, control and monitor all equipments. To design a system, my mind is always three steps ahead into the future on the watch for all possible scenarios. These are my sunsets during periods of all major holidays. I cannot be with my gig. I could have been with her cousin. There was a small possibility that my trained reasoning protocol could have spotted the dangers of the little boy waddling happily. I could have been aware of the wave-strength-&-height to boy-body ratio and warned. I did not, I could not. My work has taken a toll. My body is tired. I am sick of my work. I am sick of not spending a normal life and working for 48 hours without sleep this New Year. I love Thailand but hate my work now. I wished the silhouettes were coconut trees instead of power structures. I wished the background was the sea. I wished to be a manager in a sea resort or something, maybe less money then now, but more of a normal life. My brain needs a rest. My life style needs a tweaking. I may attempt I may try.

I have to attend a funeral on New Year day today. My work, my life.

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