Bang-Bang Brothers & Evan

Summary of the past week. Picture says a thousand words. Miss u guys.

Ball Tearing English

... and i thought the English in Thailand is bad... The below is extracts from a China user manual.

Concerned receipt slowly being deposited big or smelly reaching send data time limits, and the mouthful speed that user can be according to present time gone here and there in all whole bundle conveying and designing for the cooperation industry data, calculation big length wraps what roughly needs time, respectively big wraps dimension and on the foundation of the time needing suitable increases the remain of 20%, sets up respectively two parameters.

Free Hair Cut Thailand

Wanna get a free hair cut? I am in my office, in the morning. The temple just next door blabbering away via loudspeakers that you could here all the way to the next province.

“School term is open, our temple is providing free service.”
“Guys will look handsome, girls will look pretty…”
“Come to temple now, people of this village.”
“The hairdresser is free now, come now and quick.”
“Free hair cut, for both guys and girls.”
“Don’t worry, they will not cut your ears off…. “
“The school term is open.”
“Come come, free hair cut service, hairdresser will not be available after 2pm.”
“Free….. “
“Cut hair free…. “

And on and on and on and on and on and on. By the way, school term opens means excessive traffic jams. Seems all Thai kids are rich, either parents driving them or themselves driving their cute little Jazz, Vios, City, Yaris etc cars that looks like loaf of breads to school.

Splat Splat

Heya… check it out…. Two boys splat on the floor. For a moment they looked like they had fallen off the building. But.. no blood. Left by parents to be baked in the sun. I think the mother is a cleaner on the block. Anyway in Thai delicacies, there is such a dish called “pork-sun-only” (direct Thai translation). Means pork seasoned, left in the sun to dry (like the splat boys), and then deep fried upon. Quite delicious.

Loosing our Roots in Thailand

Roots…. What roots? The only thing that resembles roots on my body are the stray curly hairs that grows out under my balls. Maybe, if I meditate hard enough under the Bodhi tree, by balls will start absorbing nutrients from the surrounding soil. That will impress the Yoga masters for sure.

Yesterday I met some suppliers form China and Hong Kong. And when I tried to speak in Mandarin, it came out a jumble of Thai instead. I can’t even say the word “stairs” or “island” in mandarin at some point of time. Phrasing the Chinese words in my mind seems so hard. I realized it is even difficult to speak Hokkien now. Does one loose ones roots when away for long periods? Do we forget who we are? I look into the mirror now. I still see me. But inside my head, everything seemed cross wired severely.

I guess if you were to plant yourself alone in a different environment, your mind, behavior, living life styles, they way you speak and etc changes. You just merge as you mingle, but the results are just a bad mixture. However, there are some of us who are re-located, who tend to still flock together most of the time. And these are some who retain their roots unaffected. But they can’t merge. Where are our characters headed, we re-located people? We are yellow people, who just look like any other yellow people you can find in Thailand. The Caucasians however, will always remain different just by looking different themselves. Is the Singapore Singlishness to be proud of and kept alive out here? We used to speak loud and proud in kopitiams, but that is a style unacceptable by Thais. We simply speak too loud and too proud. Now I speak gentle as Thais.

I miss… speaking like a Singaporean. The jokes we can crack, the famous Hokkien versus related to every mother on the globe, I just miss talking like I used to talk with friends. Many sentences of humor, curses, slang or phrases simply cannot be translated into Thai. They can’t comprehend when we do a word for word translation. It is sometimes just soothing to be sitting at the hotel lobby, listening to the next table of Singaporeans talking cock and me laughing till tears within.

Ask again.. what is Singlishness but an interesting mixture of Malay, Indian, Mandrian, Dialects and English all in a rojak bowl. So adding Thai into that already over-ingredient bowl results in still an interesting mixture we discover with each minute here. It is us still here, just with more to add in the blend and looked by the Thais as hell of a weird walking language machine.

Meetings in Thailand, Red is No-No

In my recent and continuing hectic work life of going everywhere north-east and south of Thailand, I learned and seen a few interesting things. Some stories were told to me during the frequent night dinner and drink sessions with the Thais of various regions.

A sales guy was asked to leave the room by the high positioned government officer. Reason, the guy who was representing the product he was trying to pitch to the officer was wearing orange. I learned, you should never wear bright colors to meetings involving Thai government officials. Any bright colors such as red, luminous orange, lime green pink and whatever that “eat the eye” are deemed impolite. However no one will complain if you wear glow in the dark lime green underwear within. Yellow, used to be a no-no is now accepted. It is the color of the King. But wear only on Mondays.

The north east of Thailand used to host several bases for the US during the Vietnam war. Since many decided to stay on and have offspring with the natives and it is well known that Thai girls will throw away their local boyfriends anytime for a farang, there is a whole bunch of mixed blood new generation there now. You want to find exotic fair wife… go there. The US bases are history now. One had been taken over by Singapore Air Force and I bet they are having lots of fun there with the locals.

The reason why there is lighting is because a giant is throwing thunder bolts at irritating angles playing with loud toys disturbing his sleep.


Sometimes, it is ingenious what some Thais can come up with. Other then the above, a local Thai had invented Chicken breast milk for children who are lactose intolerant. I know chicken got breast but I never tried to suck on one to see if milk can come out at KFC.

I am watching TV in Kon Kean now… they are reciting Muslim prayers and showing the Quran. I don’t know what channel is this. But next the Malay guy is speaking in Thai.


And check the above out…. Coffee Beam.


And the above…. Another big friggin gecko when eating dinner. About 30cm.