Granny so Corny

Just this Sunday, which was Thailand’s Mothers Day, I brought gig’s mum and gang for the usual “tamboon” trip. “Tamboon” means something like going to the temples and boring myself to death while offerings were given to the monks followed by prayers.

Gang includes one about to be transvestite, the mum and a granny of about 55 years old. Yakking non stop as I drove, I tried to pick out and understand what I could of their conversation….

Mum: So you are saving for a sex change operation soon?
Transvestite: Yes, I am goin to XYZ hospital to do it. I am going to be a woman soon (sounding very happy).
Granny: How old are you?
Transvestite: 36.
Granny: Are you sure men will use your new thing after sex change? You are already so old.
Me: ... (Continue driving in shocking silence)

Granny: When you see men’s thing, will your thing rise?
Transvestite: No… prefer to be entered so my thing will not rise…
Me: ... (Continue driving in shocking silence)

Mum: Brother has been bringing different girls home in the night lately.
Gig: Brother is very “playboy”.
Mum: He is so young (18) and have many different girlfriends.
Granny: His thing can use? He is so young still.
Mum: Sure can, seen it recently…. Big and good.
Me: ... (Continue driving in shocking silence)

Then in the temple in front of Buddha…

Mum: Have you eaten? You have been driving non stop.
Me: Its ok, I had milk in the morning.
Granny: Why drink milk? Your gig don’t have enough milk for you?
Me: ... (expecting lightning to shoot from Buddha’s eyes any moment)

It is interesting ain’t it. In Chinese families, your grandma will not speak like that unless senile. But here in Thailand, they seemed so open. However, there are a certain “high-so (high society)” group of people, normally Thai-Chinese, who thinks talking like that is definite taboo. They consider normal families like what I encountered “low-so” and of a lower grade. Interbreeding with such families is a no-no. Having the transvestite on the journey was also one of my first. Don’t get that much in Singapore but here, most groups of friends will certainly have one or two of these interesting gentle creatures within. Thailand, still new to me after 3 years.