Lost in Translation, Life in Bangkok: January 2015

Monday, January 12, 2015

Suan Phueng, for Animal Huggers

One of the Main Attractions - Rabbits

I went again (was here in 2012), the playing fields for Thais some 2 hours west of Bangkok. A place for hugging sheep, rabbits and now they have alpacas, cats and even wallabies. Unfortunately, just for this particular weekend of December, Mr Sun decided to warm the winter wonderland up a notch. We associate coming to Suan Phueng with the cool winter weather but it was not to be, curses. I found that the good thing about Suan Phueng was that most of the attractions were located far apart, so there won’t be a concentration of cars causing jams like New Year in Chiangmai. And the owners seemed immersed in wealth beyond normal folks because the attractions and resorts always sprawl over several rais of land. That said, large areas meant no crowd and no kids head banged my crotch.

Interesting Dolls

I saw dolls, giant scary black dolls. One had equally huge black boobs and red nipples. We just had to stop there, who wouldn’t be curious about red nipples? It was one of the many stuffed toys factory outlets where it is said, they were there because of the numerous factories producing them in Ratchaburi. It was a huge outlet and interestingly, kids are attracted to toys but there were none there. Giant red nipples terrifies kids, pink ones attract men and red ones on black boobs, the curious. Crates of toys, from Doraemon to Spongebob, they were all there. Some looked rather odd and deformed, some I had no idea what they were. The tags attached to them had big names and they were going cheap. So we succumbed to temptation and loaded some into our trunk. And then we were on our way.

Morning Glory Resort

Our first destination was visiting Morning Glory Resort, that we stayed 2 years back. They had developed much. The enclosed pasture for rabbits had been redone and was finely constructed compared to back when it was more makeshift and not too pleasing. We had cakes and tea by the bakery house, and watched a husky running around the outside the enclosure, the owner comically chasing him down. I had heaps of rabbit feed with me, those left behind by my late pet who decided to go to heaven one fine day not too long ago. And so we fed the rabbits and gave the rest away to the resort. It was a pleasant morning, a tad of sadness as I recalled the years spent with my late bunny.

.... and more Rabbits...

Rabbit Bloom just by Vento, a new attraction we stopped next. Their rabbit farm was huge compare to most other attractions of the same nature. The critters were well taken care of, ample shades provided so that they won’t die of heat stroke in summer. Many places that leveraged on the cuteness of rabbits to make money often neglect and just exploit them. These are rabbits, not fishes where you release by mass into a pool and leave them to their own device. Vento had cages to keep the sick rabbits, I could tell they puts effort in really taking care of them cute bunnies. We pet them, we cuddled them, we took pictures with them. We watched them chased each other around their large playgrounds and we watched some humped, the parents tried to explain to their kids the birds and the bees.

Vento

And to Vento it was next, like many other themed attractions springing up all over Thailand, shops, huge compound, and lovely whitish blue structures. Yet another place for heaps of selfies. There were eateries within, a place to dine or a place to coffee. They featured a huge lake where you could paddle them water tricycles, and your wife into the water. Into the distance the huge tall hills, the setting of most Suan Phueng’s venues. And like most, we had to pay and entrance fee to get in.

Lunch was at Im Plern, no entrance fee, crowded and popular she was. The food was good, the price was reasonable, and they have an artificial lake full of fishes for one to feed and kick irritating noisy kids in. We drove past this restaurant several times, and it was always crowded even when darkness fell. Her popularity speaks for itself, the rows of cars and the swarming big bike gangs, they all came for a pleasant meal. One of the better eateries in Suan Phueng.

A Wave of Sheep

The Scenery Resort & Farm, a place I went, a place I re-visited. The usual buy a bunch of grass and tug of war with them sheep fun. The usual wondering on why the poo of sheep looks glossy round and dark like huge coffee beans. You have to come at about 5pm, they let the sheep out back into their barn. A sight to remember, the stampeding horde. Only during the evening near closure time the display will be on. The farm was booked for a wedding, the guest soon arrived dressed in their best. The compound was a heaven for them, the clicks of shutters and into memory lane the occasion was etched.

Aristo - Don't Ever Stay Here!

Our resort we picked, Aristo Chic Resort & Farm. After my stay, I would label it Aristo Cheap Resort & Farm going at Expensive Rates. My stay was not pleasant. A Jacuzzi tub that was not working and the view of construction right out the front of my room. Instead of scattered sheep, there was an excavator that moved left and right in my full view. Oh yeah, and it was complemented by a scatter of construction workers. The meadows… what meadows? There was only dust and sand dug up all over. Coupled with bad services, I say no no to anyone that is to come. Trip Advisor review under “Never trust the Picture, They had a good Photographer” I submitted, go read it and see how bad it was.

Alpaca

And the next day to Alpaca Hill we went, a massive petting zoo of sorts. Go early, late there did be a crowd and animals will run from you. I don’t know about the child labor laws in Thailand, but the place was run by many tiny Burmese kids ushering us left right and briefing us on how to handle the fauna. I found it funny when they said do not ride the giant tortoise, it made me really want to do so. Alpaca Hill had for sure Alpacas. Not to come to them from behind I was told, or my balls would be kicked so hard that they need to be surgically re-inflated. Not to pet them on the head, or they will spit a load of saliva into your face they said. There were rules of engagement everywhere, but they were for the good of the animals. There were cats, there were rats, the hamsters and the chinchillas. There were peacocks, there were definitely rabbits, and even a chicken coop where you could pick fresh eggs. A place a sure to visit if Suan Phueng a place you had not done.