Thailand’s Papa Day

5th December. The official father’s day in Thailand every year. A Holiday, the King’s birthday. The poor soul was sick, he did not appear on TV yesterday. But the whole of Thailand united, and wished him well. Such was the spirit, the very recent mobs and political feelings shoved readily aside for this day.


In a gathering I was, when the candles were passed around right about 7.20 pm. The TV was turned on to show the celebration. We each held our lighted candles. And as the crowd sang on TV, so did those around me who gathered. An event united, an event so natured.


After a couple of songs and with the whole Kingdom letting off loud fireworks within this same united period, we left our candles to burn proudly high and bright as we talked, chatted and BBQed into the coolness of the winter night.

Will Santa come to Bangkok this year?

He better watch out,
He better not cry,
He better not come,
I'm telling him why,
PAD is staging in town.


Santa wearing big bright red, flying over the Suvanaphumi, will definitely be blown out of the sky with RPG. Rudolph better have afterburners.

Bangkok Now - Calm before the Storm?

It is not every so often that when I go to the shopping complex around my house that I get to park my car easily in the evening. Yesterday was just one such day. It was not crowded and there were plentiful parking for me. Within the complex, a sense of peace contrasting from the bustle of a normal work day. A calm, an eerie sense of clam.

Yesterday, some of the big companies had let their staff off early for the fear of a rumored impending coup. It is a day for people to go home and be with their families should there be a major event. But I bet the people let off went to join the mobs instead. And no, coup did not happen yesterday and no one is sure now what will come as speculation of every kind spreads.

With nothing to do but just to wait, businessmen hooked up for casual meet ups which were not in their initial tight work schedule. Some Singaporeans, stuck in Bangkok, with surplus time thus met up. The conversation from business jumped quickly to everything under the sun. Foreigners were indirectly benefiting the shopping scene as their packed short trip of clothing cycled out (aka: ran out of clean underwear). Some with nothing to do mentioned that they just hung at MBK, spend money, ate, idled and waited for news. Calling up Thai Airways on their emergency number as instructed on published mediums results in no avail. No one picked up. Some became the ball in a ping pong game, with their Singapore agents telling them to contact Thai agencies and the latter telling them to call back the former. With no idea then what to do, they went for massages, karaoke in the night and of course to experience the hidden pleasures of Bangkok. An indirect drive to the tourism industry in the midst of what should have been a tourism disaster. So true till their money ran out should the situation extend if indefinitely.

If mountain in my way, I move the mountain some say. And people returned to Bangkok via alternative exhaustive routes. Land in Phuket, bus to Bangkok. Transit in KL, then to Laos and bus into Bangkok. All kinds of surprising route were thought up. It is easy to get in but getting out is the tough part. Flights from Chang Mai to Singapore all booked till 6th December. Train tickets to Malaysia all sold out. What other way thus to spend the time? Go for a holiday some had planned. A weekend driving to Kanchanaburi, a day or two at Pattaya, but as kiasus and kiasees some will be and rather not venture for the uncertainty of danger they think. So they just wait, and waited and will wait further till the situation irons out. But will it soon?

A round of coup, some domestic airport forced closures and the countless protests I had seen. For the first time I will say, this one is different. This one is major. Thais had the TRT, and then the PPP and of course now the PAD. Even the ARMY and whatsoever ABC could not unify the country like we have the PAP. I take my hat off for the PAP thus, which one word shrinks the balls of all. PAP, one direction, many angry and yet what can we do? We better not do. All we can is but to adjust our mind to the tune of PAP (in other words: kee-kar-lumpar-dua-suay-liap umm-kar-kong-chu-lai). Chaos chaos, never so peace. But in chaos comes a balance, or a balance will it not?

Red & Yellow Bangkok War

Airport closed, people can’t get in nor out of Bangkok. My Singapore vendor will be stuck for a while thus, unable to go back today. Surprisingly the news & TV shows still that of football and other entertainment with only occasional focus on the airport closure and protesters’ activities. Red throws stones and slingshots at anything that wears yellow. Yellow with more firepower opens gun fire at red. Innocent passerbies wearing the wrong color are in for a treat.


Then this guy how wah?

Recycle = Money

Recycle brought to an extreme extend. Poor folks of the countryside have removed some supporting screws and nuts. They sell them at the metal works, the money they get then feed their thirst for alcohol. News had some months ago reported of high voltage towers collapsing in the countryside as their supporting bits and pieces gone missing. This is how it is in Thai cases of extreme survival skills. I happened to see this which looks like a failed attempt to remove a heavy nut.

Condom Man

Oh yeah mister condom so mighty big and blue. I will hug you.

Tom Kah Soup

As tourist we go Thai restaurant, and we stereotypingly always order Tom Yam Soup. Next time, try to order Tom Kah Soup. My favorite so far is Tom Kah Kung (Prawns in spicy Thai coconut soup). But be warned, it seems like a difficult dish, for most restaurants I went does not make a good dish of this. Barn Lai at Ekamai have good ones. Some obscure restaurants in the harbors of Laem Chabang make good ones too. Trail and error, discover for yourself the other tastes of Thailand.

Sometimes I hate my Rabbit

And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath
And I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
The wabbit peed on my feet!!!!!


Just when I was about to sip my coffee on the balcony he did it again, and he ran very fast back into my room and hide. I have been trying to explain to him, I am not lamppost. Lamppost is thin and tall. I am not that thin and not that tall. Idiot.

Rayong Clams, Big and Yummy

No, I was not on holiday again. Just a casual lunch we don’t know where to eat. Along the coast of Rayong we drove, the thousand shacks lined the road a plenty. We had lunch, a casual lunch. And next to the sea on the sands we sat. The repetitive sound of waves breaking, surprisingly just another working day in Thailand. In sharp contrast to eating in the concretes of Singapore, I say Yipee yay yeah.

Halt your Pacemaker

Strange aye a sign like this? Never see it before. Watch where you step in Bangkok if your life engine is that of the electronic. Step into these areas and it may stop and you could say goodbye Earth.

The Fifth Winter

It’s been a week of good cooling weather. The climate on some days end of year is that of Perth in later summer. The sun strong and yet gentle, the breeze lightly cool and dry. The sky after the rain is splendidly clear, the clouds and the blueness so distinctively identified. As I sipped my hot coffee on the balcony overlooking Bangkok just after the lazy sunrise, the overwhelming sense of blissfulness again hit me. It’s my fifth Bangkok winter here.

Some farangs had curious questions for me, asking when I will return back to Singapore. Ain’t Bangkok too chaotic and dangerous a place to live in they asked. Ain’t Singapore such a safe heaven to be in. And my reply would always be, that I have never in my life been so truly happy before. I love the chaos. I love the unpredictability. I love the vastness of this Kingdom, and the myriad variety of experiences. I am free, soaring in my dreams, a life out of the cage called Singapore. Yes, the uncaged heavy yellow bird I am.

I was at a Wall Street party recently (a English language teaching institute in Thailand), a party I reluctantly went to with gig. The music I liked they played, of Enigma and Gregorian in tune with Halloween. You could never hear such good beats in Thai pubs, for they have all already been drowned by the hip hop. The lyrics which I know the Thais don’t understand, but they just for no reason follow. In my up state of enchanted rhythms, something set in. Starting a new challenging life in Thailand is not all that a bed of roses. Be aware the roses have thorns. The age of loneliness will come.

One will know coming here alone means no more can-chat-anything sessions with pals, no one to truly understand cock jokes and no one to truly share a real laughter with in an English movie. One cannot change the culture it is, but one must change oneself to laugh in the conversations of Thai. Some lucky folks here have communities in which they gather. Enclosed in their own special group of expat culture sharing their common views, they laugh in their own flock merrily. I the Singaporean however, still till today a lone albatross out of place in the Andaman sea of Thai. Undiscovered maybe, but I blame it more on my unbalanced lifestyle not making an effort to contact. For I want to drive strong a career, for how much longer can we learn? Socializing I can wait maybe, my views we cycle once in this time space, we need to know as much as we can. A bad lifestyle I know, but I must finish walking the path I chosen. I miss my friends.

Seeking a career I found now, a difficult task for all expats. The Thais views us as expensive cost centers, invest in us they will normally not. The most prestigious Thai companies, in reliable proven expensive solutions they invest rather not. So what are us expats then to consider, when the idea of sound investment they doubt. I work exploited alongside my potential, to peak in my innovative skill I have not. And yet I have to carry on, and bear the third gear torque. I want to maximize myself, the time will come but when abouts? Pay sucks, but I am happy, that’s all that mattes now.

Thailand, where some men are prettier then women and where women have girlfriends prettier then the men’s. This Kingdom so strange and chaotic, and yet the plentiful mysteriously attractions so magnetic. Everyday there is something to discover, everyday a holiday to remember. I live my holiday, my name is Kings. Parental stories told when young, I happened to be named after the King of Thailand for reasons. I am back in Thailand now as such, a complete cycle I have come. I am home in Thailand now.

Why Thai Girls like Farang?

After numerous researches talking with Thai…. a report I have. Yet another interesting reasoning of why Thai girls will fall anytime for a farang (ang moh) man and readily have offspring with them lucky people any time of day.

Since childhood, the girl toys that mummy brings back home will always have the westernized white skin, the golden locks of hair and the blue green eyes so colorful and attractive. This image of “cute” has thus been imprinted into the Thai girls’ mind since early childhood. Every shopping arcade they go to, rows and rows of these dolls lined up enchantingly on the shelves. As they grow up, the impression solidifies subconsciously. And when they reach reproductive age, their biological clock ticks towards wanting a blue eyed child, not the dark Thai child.

Imagine a shopping aisle lined with dark brown baby figures, black hair and the un-characteristics black eyes. Imagine holding a black doll, a black Cabbage Patch Kid. Somehow it just ain’t going to work. Somehow this part of the departmental store will just be that little bit darker. Marketing of such products just ain’t gonna work in this international age. Instead of getting children wanting the dark dolls, you get strange people buying them for voodoo purposes. Mattel figurines which are named after “crab” “cat” “fish” “sugar cane”, Ken made dark skinned and renamed as Somchai, gosh… think about it.

So, who is to blame then? Do we still assume Thai girls like farang just because of money? Maybe we should just blame some on Barbie and Ken then.

Thai Wedding – Thai People Version

Fortunately, it does not call for waking up in ungodly hours of the morning as practiced by the Thai Chinese. Set in the village of wooden huts and broken pavements, this is the real Thai wedding of the real Thai people.


Like the Chinese version, they do tease the groom with simple sabotages such as making it difficult for him to enter the bride’s home to acquire his prize.



One odd thing about it is, they carry whole stalk of young banana trees to which I do not understand the significance of. Must be kampong thing. * And what about for Chinese then? What trees? Durian tree I tell you, all 50 feet of it full grown with branches leaves spiky fruits and all the curry pok ant colonies to be shoved through the door into the room filled with elderly relatives. Two trees, not one.



And of course, no event is Thai without alcohol. Most of the men already smell like midnight boozers in the pubs. For me, sunshine and booze don’t mix.


Like the Malay weddings in Singapore, a tent is set up to house the party goers, the food served simple in buffet style.


The sin-sod (dowry) of some THB$30,000 or more, the traditional practice of the Thai village. It was beautifully arrange in a concentric pattern of leaves with attention, the valuables, currency, gold and all placed on it. * What about the Chinese? What placed on the leaves then aye? Durian I tell you, a dozen of it freshly plucked from the shoved in tree. What about American marriages with the Thai family? What placed on the circular leaves? No leaves I tell you, just stack up family size pan pizza from Pizza Hut, Super Supreme, Hawaiian and all.


Pour the blessed water over the hands of the couple, done a countless times by friends relatives and neighbors. As I poured I mumbled blessings, wish them good life, money come, good baby and bright future. * So what about Chinese again, what is the corresponding part of this ritual? Everyone throw a thousand lighted firecrackers at the couple. Can also aim large fireworks at them to brightly light up their lives.


This, the Thai wedding, the way it had been and always will be. Resisting the weight of modernization, the tradition persists.

[* All reference made out of scope to other wedding cultures are fiction, do not practice. If insist, practice at your own risk. The writer of this blog shall not be responsible for any collateral damage caused by durians in doing so.]

Samet Ville Resort

Mention Thailand to anyone a few things will come straight to their minds. Girly bars, ladyboys and cheap branded goods – aka imitation. Now, imitation as I experienced in Thailand goes beyond that of just jeans shirts and other apparels.

The normal definition of Resort:

re.sort [noun] (r-zôrt)

1. An area where many people go for recreation, usually in remote and natural locations which allows people to stay over.

2. A frequently visited location with numerous activities for the customer to enjoy, good food, wine and all, where customers are diligently served and prioritize as number 1.

3. A top notched visited place for people to enjoy with luxurious accommodation, providing hotel equal services and a very good night’s sleep.

4. A place for people to re-charge their souls on weekends from their normally exhaustive working life.

The Thai definition of Resort:

Samet Ville re.sort [con] (ke-na-bluff-overprice r-zôrt)



1. An area where many people go for recreation, on Koh Samet beside the sea, THB$4k per nite. Equally expensive to some proven luxury hotels in Phuket and other parts of Samet.

2. A frequently visited place by Bangkokians for it is 2 1/2 hours away with limited activities for the customer to enjoy – no spa, average food at inflated prices, bring your own wine and in company of free mosquitoes, where customers (I) have been ignored countless times by the serving staff and customers (I) can wait 30 minutes for their order and 20 minutes for their bill.

3. A top notched visited place for people (I) to realize the luxurious accommodation seen on web is in fact just some smart photo shooting skills, providing the normal pump-pump hotel equal services and a very sleepless night in cheap mattress and thin cheap feeling blankets.

4. A place for people to torture their (I) souls on weekends from their normally exhaustive working life and to return to live doubly tired, feel being cheated and yet there is nothing they can do about their awful experiences. Especially true after complaining to the all ears reception staff who have nil experiences of dealing with customers’ (I’s) complain and had no strategy whatsoever tactics to soothe the customer.

References:


There will be no towels for your shower till you asked for it, in the middle of shower when you suddenly realized you have nothing to wipe your ass with. The towels when asked for, are yellow when delivered.


The dinner promised in the package with seafood and delicious Thai cuisine are but cold BBQ food and tiny boiled shrimps (10cm), dirty mussels (4cm) and a lousy bowl of Tom Yam soup (soup fortunately served hot, diameter 20cm).


There are many styles of accommodation to choose from. As to why one would go for THB$4k instead of THB$2k (2k still expensive) is that one would expect a more comfortable sleep. However, one would then realized 4k bungalows are units shabbily split in two my removing connecting doors and covering with a thin piece of plywood.


Resorts normally have crowd control with security guards on petrol to ensure a gentle environment in unity with nature. However here in Samet Ville RESORT, your neighbor could turn their units into a noisy gambling den. All the rowdiness can be heard clearly through plywood that one will realize does not entirely cover the opening. In the night once could peak at each other through the vertical opening at the corner of it. So, one can see neighbor’s girlfriend’s bosoms and compare shape and size to one’s girlfriend’s bosoms. Bear in mind that so can one’s neighbor do the same.

Since one’s resort’s neighbor is that does not have a civic mind for their thoughts had been drowned out by alcohol, one would then decide against confrontation and decide to drown oneself at the restaurant 11pm in the night ordering beer. Only then to realize the joint is closed and to be brushed aside by the unfriendly staff who will not make any exception in a effort to make one happy.

The closing time of the next door gambling den is then determined by one thus when patience runs out at about 2 am, by directly confronting the tattooed neighbor to ask his friends to keep quiet.


The morning hearty breakfast promised after a bad night of sleep is set in shadowy old plastic tables and chairs, with a singe bowl of foul porridge served.


As pictures above shown on the quality of materials in the room, these are low quality accommodations one would encounter in many parts of this Kingdom masquerading under the grand name of resort. Samet Ville Resort, an imitation resort one can give a miss to without regret, and one to regret if gone to.

The Thai Neighbor

I never knew what my friend advised could so be very true. Lesson learned is that before doing anything, ask Thai if can, ask a few of them if can. As I had previously wrote in my blog Buying a Condo in Bangkok, a Thai will buy condominiums only of above 4 million to be soaked in high-so if all possible. For one reason I encounter now, an inconsiderate neighbor who makes me smell like a walking “tam-sang” (zhe-cha in Hokkien) stall everyday. My clothes hang to dry, the fabrics they absorbed the smell, my perfume is now called “pad-pid” (friend chili) on some days and “ka-tiaum” (garlic) on others.

Many farmers in this vast kingdom inherited their land from the generations before. Being forever living with the ducks, geese and buffalos, opportunities comes once a while knocking on their hut. An offer to buy their piece, normally from the smarter Bangkokians who take advantage of the situation. Show a lump of cash to the uneducated country bump (under the value of land, maybe way under), bump never seen so much money before. Bump takes offer, and buys anything within reach in Bangkok. Bump changes lifestyle from low-so to high-so (compared to his neighbors) in an instant. Bump also bring big family of bumps and all sorts of up-country behaviors into our civilization. How to then maintain the lifestyle after, I don’t think they really care. Come first find work later, steal beg borrow whatever. Darn I hate this.

We live in condo, we live in commune. Any condo folk should know that when living in such close proximity, we must live with extra consideration for our neighbors. If you want to turn your house into your up-country shack where you cook up a storm every morning, then install a darn kitchen air purifier.

To all you folks out there who cook in condo, go HomePro buy that air purifier. To all you expat folks going to buy a condo in Bangkok, if have money buy THB$10 million condo. Don’t buy THB$1 million ones. As I write my blog now, he cooks at his balcony, my perfume today will be “nam-pla” (fish sauce).

Orphan It, A Convenient Technique

Yet another interesting encounter with the strangeness of this beautiful Kingdom, the beautiful people, the beautiful culture. Beautiful couples get together, made beautiful love and end up with beautiful kid. Unable to care for the kid within their beautifully busy working lives, they send the kid to the neighboring baby sitter in the beautiful countryside for the weekend. Then they beautifully disappear without returning. A beautiful plan indeed.

The aunty I met had taken the child in as one of her own. She did not want to send the kid away. The kind hearted gets taken advantaged of. The ugly people who hatched the beautiful plan profits. Beautiful Thailand, it happens everyday.

i Road Bully

I accidentally cut into her lane driving the long roads till brain dead without signaling in advanced. The big black Chevrolet pulled up beside me and signaled me to stop. I walked up to her window and she handed me a Buddhist sutra. The mid forties kind faced woman said, young man must heart cool cool, don’t drive with heart hot hot, dangerous, read Buddhist sutra, make heart cool cool, make good man. This, the most surprising road experience ever encountered, only in Thailand I suppose.

Why go the Mob?

On my work trips occasionally having casual talks with the factory people, now I know one reason why they go for mobs. The factory workers claimed if the prime minister was overthrown (he did), their participation in the mob was a success and they felt proud that they had did something for the country. Else, being just another local folk, what can they do to contribute to society? They were not paid they claimed. They just wanted to do something which resulted in something that’s all.

Dining on the Phuket Cliffs – Cheap

And again, why we should rent cars when on holiday destinations. I was on work, not on holiday. I was looking for a place to eat, the rental car I drove devouring the curves and slopes of Phuket. We stumbled on the E-San food shack up the hill. I had a choice, the concrete building with the fancy restaurant name that had the “welcome farang” feel, or the wooden shacks that looks like it will be blown down into the sea during heavy storm. I choose the later to discover the idyllic simple sitting arrangements hidden from view by the road. It was simple E-San food at slightly expensive price. THB$400 for three of us, as we savored our eyes did too. Just don’t drink here get high, will fall off the cliff for sure. The sunny sun, the shady tables. The view, the air, the sea. This is the life, this is my life.

10 Course Dinner Banquette Narai Hotel

And yet again I attended the Thai Chinese wedding dinner. As chaotic as ever, the function room of Narai hotel when it is not tradition to have seating arrangements and such pre planned. So, everybody was everywhere and our table had twelve because we wanted to be in a group and not with strangers.

What I really cannot stand about 10 Course Dinners here in Narai Hotel was they never change your side plate. I was Banquet a long time back, we had to change the plate every course. Food lovers will know that taste from different dishes should be savored in isolation without the juices form the previous affecting the taste of the current. But hell no in Narai. My request to the idiot faced waiter to change the plates of the entire table was conveniently ignored. By the 5th course, I swear the juices and debris on my plate was starting some form of chemical reaction and could either be turning into alcohol or attaining a life of its own. Welcome to Bangkok.

The Holes of Thai Roads

These are the things that make your wheel break away nicely in unpredictable direction. Road repair takes forever in Thailand and so, when driving on un-chartered roads you never been before, always watch out for the holes. Drive slow, or let the car behind take over and follow his pace at a distance. He could be more familiar then your irritatingly slow car. Watch him closely and if he goes airborne, brake hard. One fine day, I finally understood why their existence. I saw cows drinking from these water filled holes after the rain.

The Naga Fireballs

From various sources on the internet:

The Naga fireballs are a phenomenon seen in the Mekong river - in Thailand (Nong Khai province and Isan) and in Laos - in which glowing balls rise from depths. The balls are reddish in colour and about the size of an egg; they rise a couple of hundred meters before disappearing. The number of fireballs is variable, being reported at between tens and thousands per night.

The fireballs have been seen for centuries and are most often reported around the night of Wan Awk Pansa - the end of the Buddhist rains retreat - in October, although displays have also been reported in March, April, May, June and September. It is speculated by Scientist that during particular periods of the year, the full moon will cause methane to be released from the sediments in the river. This rising methane gas upon emerging out form the water then ignites when mixed with the atmosphere resulting in the fireballs witnessed by the public. Mythological beliefs interpret these fireballs as steps for the Buddha to descend from the heavens.

Hmmmm .. very intriguing. I think this October on a full moon night, I will fart in the swimming pool in an attempt to replicate the phenomenon. I want to see if my fart turns into fireball or not. If not I will just make a lot of farting gaseous balls and maybe, just maybe, a passing owl will descend (fall dead) from the sky.

Internet Services in Thailand

Whatever you do, don’t sign up with TOT. TOT is the mafia of telecommunications. They dominate the country with their sub standard and more then expensive Internet services. I would love to have gone with True, faster lines at cheaper price. But unfortunately, their lines do not reach the area which I stayed. This is not like Singapore, wherever you stay you have a choice of all providers, thanks to the first-class nationwide infrastructure superior in all ways to that of backwards Thailand.

The killer tear in your balls is when you pay your bills late. There is simply no way in which you can re-activate your services except to visit their elusive and difficult to locate main offices. If only this was True, their branches would be all over Bangkok and you could just walk in and clear you issues. TOT is as hard as a stubborn piece of shit hardened in the sun. They cannot re-activate your line, or to have your late payment invoiced in the next upcoming bill. They simply cut your lines and say “no-pay-no-line-sorry-na-ka”. As busy businessmen traveling lots and mostly not home to pay your bills on time, TOT kills you.

And so we have the avenue to go to their web, TOT e-Services they so proudly painted all over their homepage. Then the frustration begins, when the English locale you had chosen keeps switching back to the gibberish Thai characters. I cannot read Thai. And so when you try to pay your unpaid bills online, you will then learn the stubborn hard shit rules applies. The bill is shown, but the payment cannot be made, because you are late! Why in the world did they call it e-Services when it is filled with such a considerable piece of inconvenience? I tell you why. Because it is TOT.

And so I though out of the box, and tried to use their Request-For-Invoice service, hoping the bills will be reset and a new bill sent, so that I can go to the ATM and make the payments. The web site then switched to Thai, and when I clicked on English I was presented with scripting errors. For the love of Buddha, you are a leader in telecommunications and IT, and yet you have crap programmers that never check the web services thoroughly. I tell you why again. Because it is TOT.

TOT, go screw yourselves in the ass the whole lot of you, customer services and all.

Hot Springs Beach Resort

I was in paradise, The Hot Spring Resort in Phang Nga. A lesser known paradise north of Phuket but still, stunning beaches and tranquility. The Tsunami of 2004 had devastated her, but she was quickly rebuilt and restored to her former glory. It was not easy to get to this heaven as she was nested deep within the unknown roads of Phang Nga. A destination popular with the Asian crowd I was told, as she was mostly promoted in countries like Japan, Taiwan and China. The Thai holiday makers were scarce in this hidden jewel of idyllic serenity. It is the only resort that has her own natural hot springs, a destination to break stress and detune your busy life to the pace of slow waters gently flowing as run offs by the side of the emerald pool.


It was the mob season and so we read that many tourists had cancelled their travel plans Most of the hotels in this region and others suffered a huge dip in business. To me, it meant having the whole resort almost to ourselves. A normally packed weekend with only 4 bookings. A normally packed season with less then 10% occupancy rate. How else was I able to take those pictures with so little people in it? The normal buffet breakfast had to be turned a la cart style. The restaurant by the beach was closed for economic reasons. It was peace to our benefit. I see it as a small stroke of luck. The loud chats and proud talks of Chinamen were absent.


Almost all resorts in Thailand will exhibit their own special spa courses. The experiences vary and I would call them a good con for most. These so-called spas normally can be interpreted as ultra expensive massages fifteen times the price of a good two hour rub in the normal massage parlous of Bangkok, at a quarter of the expected skill set. But here, I finally found the difference. We had thirty minutes to ourselves in the hot therapeutic pool, bits and pieces of aromatic drifty bits in the water. With our energy sapped out by the warmth and our spirit drowsed down into a lethargic cloud of drowsy soul, we laid on the massage beds and enjoyed one and half hours of exceptional rubs, twist and squeezes. It was poles apart form the con type spas I had in the other so called resorts. You just gotta try it. The sleep on the night of the spa felt like I had never slept in years. The morning after the energy I had was fresh like the first rays of sun. Superb.


The jetty that led to the promised beach was there. The beach that was supposed to be was not. The jetty ended abruptly and so we asked. The season had been strange after the tsunami years. The storms had been odd. They washed the sands away overnight, the beach that once was had gone. But on some good seasons the sands accumulate, and the promised beach was there. A grand wedding party was recently held, the newly weds walked the sands that were present. The owner had wanted to show me the photos just to convince me there really was a beach.


It was a bad season, it was bad business. It was Thais killing their own business which was yet another trait of never thinking of consequences. As you work with Thais you will know by majority count that they have the inherent attribute of short foresight. This season the mannerism exhibited on a grand scale. This is why we have mostly foreigners filling critical positions in most companies. We try our best to pass down the proficiency of envision. I am teaching, they are learning, but however most are not. It was a great holiday nevertheless.









Full photo set at cllim.com under Phang Nga Sep 2008.

TT Money Thai to Singapore

Yet another case I will write about on one of the numerous extra pointless manners in which foreigners like us are exclusively handled in Thailand. In this modern era where customer satisfaction is priority of all practices, banks in Thailand had taken that extra step back just to make matters more challenging for us. I had been occasionally transferring my money to Singapore just so as to pay my card bills. Reason being it is almost impossible for foreigners to enjoy the privilege of credit cards issued in this cumbersome Kingdom. I can live with that.

Just then, as I just tried to do the TT, in addition to showing my passport, I was asked to show my employment letter, my work permit and my pay slip! The volcano in me erupted and I fired away to demand an explanation. Banker informed me that this is a new regulation for Thailand is in fear that we foreigners are transferring the Kingdom’s money out disrupting the economy. We need to proof we are drawing legal salary and it is this legal salary that we are transferring out. Hello! Does my face looks square and is my sir name Shinawatra?? I explained that the target account is in my own name. It is my own money for my own use. It was a fruitless argument as the buffalo rules must be adhered to.

Great! Life in Thailand has now up a notch in ludicrousity. Remember to have all those document guys, the next time you want to TT. I almost wanted to shout in Hokkien very loud: K.N.N.B.C.C.B.

Eating in Phuket, I found Rawai

So where do we eat in Phuket? As tourist, we stay in Patong we eat in Patong. We stay in Kata, we eat in Kata. And all those eatery almost always have their prices blown out of proportion for they are tuned to the pockets of the farangs. Could we then really get the local food there? No. All the restaurants had been made up-scaled and even the Thai food are just that little bit adjusted to the taste of the farangs.


Here’s a tip, firstly, on tour, must rent car. No car, no real holiday. We drove around the island, found this Rawai beach (southern tip of Phuket). Been to Phuket so many times and never knew this beach existed. Affordable looking eating joints were a plenty overlooking the sea. I knew it was local when I saw Thais on every table. Thais naturally are Thais and knows where to spend their money. They will not usually eat in restaurants targeting farangs. One of the strange highlights of Rawai was that, on most tables, I saw there were a farang or two, eating in the company of a number of “sexy” girls. I guess that’s where Phuket “girlfriends” brings tourist “boyfriends” to when asked for “bring me some place local, I hungry” after the night of “I love you honey, sick at home my mommy, give me some money”.

The food was really local I could tell, as I found out that their Tom Yam soup really tasted very different from that in Bangkok. They put in a different kind of spice, and all the taste I was so used to for the regular dishes I ordered, just tasted that slightly different. Whatever you order, don’t go for the Seabass (Pla Kapong), it tasted muddy. I assumed they do not have sea farmed Seabass and instead catch them from the local mangroves. It was the worst fish I ever ate in years.

And whatever different spices the southern kingdom used, it made me able to kill the nearby dog just by farting. It is interesting to note, Thailand is so big, food in each region have their own localized flavors, name of dish the same. Kill radius of fart differs.

What u can get for SGD$ 3.2 Million

Two of these in one big plot of land (outside Bangkok). One for your brother and one for yourself.



Your very own resort style outdoor dining area by the pond.


Your very own little bridge across your personal pond.


And a whole assortment of water features.

Thailand, where a Singaporean’s dream comes true. Ofcoz.. its not mine. But imagine if you have a 4 million property in Singapore, one of those small properties in an upscale district. Sell all out, bring your money here and you could build your own castle.

Thai No Speak English

Yet another frustrating day almost vomiting blood just interacting in simple conversation with an insurance based car workshop. Called up the workshop and they asked what insurance company am I covered under. Naturally not being able to read the Thai company name, I answered the company name in English. They say no they don’t deal with me because they do not cover this company that I spoke. And so frustratingly we argued over the phone till I had to be physically there to show them my insurance slip and the imbeciles then recognized my claim.

And so the following day after I sent in my car, they called me and requested me to fax the driving license to them. And so I asked in Thai who to “attention” to, with the word attention in English as I do not know that word in Thai. The other end kept quite.. and repeated the fax number. After I asked them two more times who to attention to, they cut my line.

Yes, Thailand, no speaking English. And if they don’t understand you, instead of trying to understand, they cut your line and hope to leave you to another operator to handle you on your already furious state. The daily frustrations we foreigners encounter till tear balls point. No matter it be talking about getting that cable for your home, the bill payments for your mobile, the ordering of KFC even, we tear our crouch each time we try to hold a simple conversation with the Thais. We tried our best picked up their language, they tried their best to just cut us off.

Traffic Lights of Thailand

Again another example of – it is assumed that all foreigners have some extraordinary abilities to somehow read Thai. What the sign says? Turn left on green? Wait for green to turn left? Cannot turn left? The turn left light is on the floor? What??? Something quite sure is, turn left blur blur and pay the police. The police will tell you the answer.

Ok.. I share.. signs like these means, wait for green to turn left. If this sign is not present, I think you can turn left without waiting. Or, turn left right center u-turn anyway at any junction you want, traffic rules don’t really exist here.

The Swarm Bangkok

It was unruly. The traffic all built up causing a massive jam. It took forever for me to make that u-turn. It was just 10 am on a Sunday morning but already the traffic was crazy. It was abnormal. People came by the thousands, the walkways all crammed up. It was utter disorder. People who are tried sat on the floor, everywhere. Shouting, loud talking, turmoil, confusion, madness. Mob.. demonstration on the streets, anti-government movements?

No. it was The13th Discovery Thailand & Discovery World 2008. Yah… and Bangkok was supposed to be in disarray. Bangkok was supposed to be dangerous, all tourism business affected as reported in the news. But the crowds were still snapping up the good offers in the so many luxurious resorts across the Kingdom. Who’s missing out? Only the foreigners.

On a weekend in Singapore we can only have a good ridiculously expensive five or so resorts to spend a good night away from home. I… bored like f forever. On a weekend in Thailand, I have more then EIGHT HUNDRED resorts that I can choose to drive to and spend a good cheap night away from home. I… holiday forever.


Ridiculous jam early in the morning 10 am, people all loaded to spend their money.


Worst inside where it was extremely crowded.

Yellow Color Red Color

This is funny…. from The Nation newspapers, 3rd Sept 2008.

As more protesters poured into Government House, where music continued to play and defiant speakers continued to address vociferous crowds, the state of emergency declared by Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej Tuesday morning seemed to have serious effects on only one person - himself.

So, the chaos had been on going for several days. In Thailand, there seems to be a color for everything. Now, anti-government protesters wear yellow, and the pro-government wears red. Guess it would not be a good time to be in your yellow or red outfits. Then how? Paint your face half yellow half red like the football fans. Wear half yellow or half red shirts, or shirts with both yellow and red horizontal stripes. Red underwear and yellow shoes. Bra left side yellow and right side red. Oh yeah and walk the streets to exhibit your neutral thoughts. Either way, either color or multi color, you still did be hit by a brick, set on fire or whacked by sticks. It seems this situation is for the disgruntled Thais to release their stress through violence. When I watched the news and saw the beatings, I simply cannot understand how the crowd decipher the guy in black was on which side. They just whacked and whacked and whacked some more.

Violent behavior, chaos and such, my Malaysian customers on long term work stint had taken their emergency trip back home. Scared again by the reports, but live still goes on for the rest of the country. The violence is localized but the imagination drove the fear. In my office, no one really seems to be worried by the situation. In the shopping center where I eat, everyone is still smiling. And so, why worry?

The union here is powerful, the utilities sector decided to go on “organized leave”. They tend to cut the power and the water, to pressure the prime minister to quit. They seemed tuned to the anti side, and show they will when needed. In retrospect I looked, our NTUC taxi drivers. Disgruntled unhappy and such, their long political talks when you ride. They complained for decades and action none. Such is life in Singapore for such is the way it has to be. It’s good, it’s bad, it’s the way it is enforced to be.

Bangkok Dangerous?

Thailand is the only country where the prime ministers have uncanny facial similarities to characters from Nickelodeon and what not. Thaksin, one look and you think of SpongeBob. Next you would expect his associates to look like Patrick. Lucky, no one had a face like a star. And so Thaksin was overthrown by the military coup and there was no one for a while. And then Thai elected a new prime minister. If for some reason this new Samak were to be in a farm holding a huge steel fork, I bet he look like something out from Journey to the West. Best still if a monk happen to be nearby.

Thailand in Chaos? The news you saw on CNN and papers, oh yes, the mob wants to over throw the prime minister, the police engaged the mob. Injuries and bloodshed a few when the police tried to control the crowd. And then the mob blamed the police for using violence. And so the mob moved in on the police headquarters and demanded the policemen who injured the crowd. All hell broke loose because the mob not happy, the mob grew in size and sprouted up in the other provinces. Then someone with a big idea decided to position the mobs on the runway, forced themselves into the airports they did. They wanted to hit the landing aeroplane's wheel with their face. So Krabi, Hat Yai and Phuket airports closed. Yes, it was true… it was so chaotic, it was a mess. There were the opposing parties, and then the supporting parties. Let them mingle move them close to each other. Let them pacify neutralize or equalize by violence, so the police would not be blamed for causing more injuries. Watch the show from the side lah, then pick up the aftermath without a sweat.

With all the news reported of violence, everyone is in danger. Oh really? So strange that people were still going to pubs, disco and clubs. We all still live everyday as it is. It was the month’s end, salary was out. Thais were still getting drunk on the past weekend, still going for their pop-pop sessions, still going for the karaoke. Chaos? Oh really?

In the tiny Singapore lives we live, we have never encountered a mob. And so we thought the mob equals to the country breaking down. And really it is not so. The news shows and focus, to show only what they wanted to show. If the camera was to turn a 180, you will get to see the traffic still going on slow, the peddlers still are selling and the karaoke girls still are working. The restaurants will all still pack, the holiday resorts on weekends will still full.